这一年，到底算什么。。。

牺牲了很多东西，我也从没要求过任何回报。 这一整年的辛苦，除了走过同样的路的人，没有人会知道。



什么是义务？

对，没人在我的脖子上顶着刀，逼我做任何事。 是我傻，我蠢，才会一味地相信你们所说的话。 连别人都听得出你们在瞎掰，就只有我在穷担心。。。

本来我也没什么埋怨。 可是大家偏喜欢哪壶不开提哪壶。 而你们在说这些事时，有没有顾及我的感受？ 说的倒是轻松，刻满肚子的委屈也只有自己知道。

什么叫做忘恩负义，没义气，我现在看得很清楚。。。

朋友~情人~

友情和爱情之间，如何取舍。。。

道义，建立于无所不谈的哥儿们之间。

感情，建立于情人之间。

如果朋友和情人同时需要到你，你又会作出什么样的取舍？

如果先前就已经约好了哥儿们，可是情人又突然病倒了。 你，会履行哥儿们之间的约定，还是会选择留下照顾情人？

如果见到哥儿们的时间远远超出陪情人的时间，你是否会觉得不妥？还是会不以为然地耸耸肩？

sometimes feel so sick and tired...and uncertain..

coz..people change...

生气，不生气。

生气和不生气，谁能分得清楚？

开心，又有什么定义？

我不开心，是因为我觉得你没有在听我说话。这是小事吗？当然，这因人而异。显然，在我眼里，这不是小事也不是一两次的事，所以我才会不开心。

说到底，我不喜欢被敷衍。任何人都好，请不要随便应一声就当作是回答了我。如果你没空/没兴趣，请直接告诉我，我会闭嘴。

大家都有自己的观点，所以真的不需要把自己的观点强加在别人身上，就如同我不会强制性地要求别人同意我的观点。同样的东西，对不同的人会有不同的价值或重要性。我只能说，今晚，我真的学了很多，也觉得很遗憾。到了最后一个学期，才发现其实我虚度了三年的光阴。每个人进大学都有不同的目标。很遗憾的，我并没有为自己设立了一个很明确的目标。到了现在才发现，其实我真的可以做更多能够造福人群的事，有意义的事。也因为这样，我才会觉得今晚的得奖人士都是值得尊敬的。

今天真的有‘一波未平，一波又起’的感觉，实在不是什么好滋味。希望受伤的心能够不留疤痕地快快痊愈。。。

sorry

to keep you caught in between us..im trying to be understanding but it seems so difficult..

I suck..period.

hi i'm back

Hi i'm back after so long...which might not be such a good thing afterall. Since i usually dun blog unless i'm really upset...

Birthday is just around the corner...just another 2more weeks or so but i cant feel the anticipation nor excitement...why???

Life's been pretty screwed up recently...studies, cca, love life seems to all jumble up into one whole big chunk of mess.

Sch is as usual..hectic and stuff with projects + lab reports....busy like hell and serious information overload...and wads the worst part....i cant seem to find time to study..

Cca is screwed up too...cant seem to achieve wad i'd set out to right at the beginning...starting to doubt my leadership and influence + interpersonal relationship skills...am i simply too demanding? like a living hitler apart from the fact that i'm not charismatic enuff...

Love was wad i told that cld keep me going in difficult times, by seeking support from the love of my life...but it turns out that i'm just not a good lover...i thought i did wadever i cld whenever i can...but it seems like thats not enuff..quarrels and arguements still surfaced over trival issues...am i too strong-headed? too sensitive but not sensitive enuff? Sometimes i jus wish that there can be this love guru whom i can turn to for solutions and ask wad went wrong on my part. I love u so much dear and i know u do too..but why isit that we just keep doing/saying things that upsets each other? U said that i'd always spoke to u in a condescending tone, which i went to google n it says a tone of superiority. Since whn ve i ever seen myself as more superior than u?? Yknow that sentence really made me think if i'm really such a 'demanding' and 'unreasonable' person...dear, i know u so well that a single expression or action can tell me wad kind of mood u're in now...and whn i'm well-aware that u're unhappy yet u refuse to admit, i cant help but ask myself why isit that u have to lie? Do u think that i duno u well enuff n so u can try to hide ur feelings whn ur expression tells me everything? U know for that 4hrs i was so frustrated n i din even had the appetite to eat. I had to constantly guess wads on ur mind becozu refused to acknowledge ur unhappiness. Pls dun ever do that to me becoz the suspense is torturing the helk out of me given that i was alr in a terrible state..

I really hate to cry but i just cant seem to control my tears recently...which is kinda bad coz i go to sch with red puffy eyes..i wonder if i can really pull thru all these...becoz i can feel the old 'me' returning.......

N to all my frens out there....if u think that there's a prob with my attitude etc, pls tell me right in my face...i'll rather have it that way than having cold treatments...or worse still, playing along with me till u cant take it anymore n explode one day...