Went out with jiamin last wednesday to make up for her birthday on tues...haha late huh jiamin..need to chg ur habit le wor =p anw we met at PS and dinner was on me at cafe cartel..mmm we had a long chat i guess, coz the waiter kept refilling our cups =x went to walk walk ard PS and promised to bring jm out to far east one day during june to get her shoes she wants...=)

Received the notification letter frm moe wrt to the scholarship le..still, not much 'joy' frm my family..well who cares.....

this weekend will be burnt by ATC, next weekend by LMSC and the following one by CLTC...haha wow busy busy busy~

supposed to meet tt hanrui for dinner or wadsoever tonight de..haha bt i guess he's too busy keeping himself by HER side so totally fgt abt me lo =p haha its ok da ren bu ji XIAO REN guo yaaaa....XD

dear farina is leaving office this fri le...sadded...no more lunch mate and someone to ka-jiao when i'm on my way to the toilet >.<

tts tt..

scholar...so what?

i was informed this morning that i'd been awarded the moe teaching scholarship..farina was the first to know of it..followed by my bro and parents..

he merely said congrats...thats how unfeeling my bro can get..

my parents cant sms..so i din expect them to reply/call..

when i got on my parents' car after work..no interest was placed on my moe scholarship...my mom simply harped on the qns why din i manage to get thru the spf scholarship despite trying twice....is that supposed to be the main topic??? i dun understand...

no one in my family spoke another word abt the scholarship...ZERO....wad was tt supposed to mean?

my parents wanted me to follow my bro's footsteps into becoming a teacher..of coz personally i do have the interest and passion..bt this is wad they want isnt it?

they'd always been telling me how great my bro is..in pulling thru Os, As and uni w/o having them to worry much..i tried so hard and i did surpass..although Os was the same performance, bt i certainly did much better in As and i clinched a SCHOLARSHIP with my own capability!!! why cant they just PRAISE ME?!?!? does it kill to say well done?? or just a simple smile of approval???

i didnt know tt wad i'd been working on, is acty so insignificant and meaningless in their eyes...how disgusting can this reality get??

i worked so hard...not just the process...bt in the end..i'm still not happyyyy......

A Trip to Pulau Ubin!!! =)

Hi all!! Tt was a long weekend wor...haha phy and i went to pulau ubin on good friday all becoz of my sudden urge..=p shall let the photos do the job ya!

Haha this is how scary the queue at changi jetty was...went to ubin so many times, this is the first time i see such a crowd sia!!phy and i on the bum-boat..haha the 2 of us are like 'sua-gu' lidat...freaking excited though its not our first time to ubin...yep the amt of ppl roamin at ubin is scary too!! this time rd the mosquitoes can have their full meals...(slurp!)haha the 'bua-gia-si' phy is super exposephy and i at the entrance of PULAU UBIN!!! =Dtaken at the sensory trail..make a guess wad is this tree??This is the fruits of the tree...any idea???TA-DA!! haha the ans is Lipstick Tree~~~~ok..now try guessing wad tree is this....have you got it?? haha its the coffee tree!!!haha this is rather obvious la huh..jackfruit tree...this was taken before we went into the trail..this place acty used to be a small bakery shop opened by a family (fgt frm germany or england le =x)....haha throughout the entire trip..there were a lot of times whereby i zoom-in to take photos of sceneries bt fgt to zoom-out when taking photos of ourselves..which resulted in such BIG-FACED photos =pthis is the quarry which we saw when we were on our way to the german girl shrine

haha the 2 of us in front of tt quarry...ok i decided tt the ranger hat made me too ugly...XDthat was how bad the flood was.....haha and of coz..not to fgt, phy's beautiful legs =Pthis is the german girl's shrine which is located all the way at the west of pulau ubin..mm long history behind it..there is acty a write-up available at that place itself..mm the shrine looks quite well-maintained larhx..so nxt time when u go to ubin can go explore this place ya! =Dafter we came out frm the german girl's shrine, we just went up this rocky slope, thinking that it'll lead us to some main path....bt it turned out to be.....THE BIKE PARK!!! haha the 2 of us were struggling to cycle up those super steep slopes larhx..and phy looked so pissed when she cant chiong up the slope to the extent that a cyclist even stopped to ask her if she was alright =p

we tried to go as high as we can larhx..and we were awarded with this beautiful scenery...really really wonderful...pls dun mistaken this as a quarry ya...those who'd tried kayaking around pulau ubin shld know tt this is acty the sea le la huh..=pthat was with the sea as our background...and tt was how much we were left to the top of the park..Yep..so we only knew tt was the bike park when we exit from the entrance >.oh tts the entrace to the puaka hill (which means huanted hill in malay)...err bt we din really manage to reach the top larhx..apparently it seems like its been very long ever since someone walked tt trail le..coz we can only reach the 1st floor...the path leading to the 2nd floor is super dense larhx..so we didn't want to risk it..well..we were intending to head to chek jawa after puaka hill de..bt apparently lau tian ye bu zuo mei la..started raining..nono maybe pouring will be a better word..so we had no choice bt to head back to the jetty lor...wahaha phy and i even joked abt it, saying that its a good opportunity to train our leadering and critical thinking =Pyep so the 2 of us end up like luo tang ji la huh..quite pathetic...haha the wet phy....XDeven the cat seeked shelter with us =D (under my bike somemore..)haha and the wet JASMINE!! XDooo uncle in action!! the place where we were at was almost flooded..so the uncle was kind enuff to clear away the water..bt one thing i din really understand wad y did he sweep all the leaves and litter down to the drain???? maybe tts the reason for the flood huh...=/oh everyone was seeking shelter..haha so quite a few of them acty went into the seafood restaurant area...we left pulau ubin after the rain got smaller...haix bt still bu gan xin ya...din even get to go to chek yawa at all...that was how scary the weather at ubin's side was...

haha see the contrast in the weather at ubin and at spore??

this was taken at the jetty once we reached singapore...haha the 2 luo tang jis...=p

yupz i shall upload photos to here ba....gt time then carry on...

now i finally know wads the feeling of 'gek xim' (hokkien)

a lot had been happening recently..undesirable of coz..

hu leng hu re shi ni de zhuan chang ba?

zai bie ren bei hou shuo xian hua hen you qu ma?

zhe zhong zui ming, rang wo jie shou bu lai..

bu shuang jiu zhi jie shuo, gan ma yao an jian shang ren?

yao wo zhen me zuo, ni men cai hui man yi?

maybe i shld learn how to be smarter and protect myself...sometimes, walking out of the comfort zone may not necessarily be the right choice...

i realised...only when i'm at my workplace, can i truly be myself...that is a place whereby i'm highly encouraged to voice out my opinions and make changes to things to improve efficiency..its a place whereby i can be in control of things and make decisions...its a place whereby i'd seen the best teamwork ever w/o having to bring anyone down...its a place whereby every single effort is been recognised, no matter how trival it may seem to be...its a place where i can be myself...where i can be confident and raise my head up high...where i can feel a pat on my shoulder, telling me that i'd done a great job...where all these things cant be found at another place, a place that i'd been in for years.....

well..maybe i'd changed unknowingly due to the environment...but i mean, everyone grows up and everyone changes am i right? and whether one had changed for the better or for worse, it isn't really fair for others to judge, becoz wad matter most is to be urself and u can proudly lift up ur head to say that u're living ur life to the fullest...

ji ran zuo bu liao ban lvi, na jiu zuo peng you ba! =) bu guo you yi ye shi xu yao shuang fang lai wei chi de..

think a lot for the past few days, and as usual, found tt whatever that i'd done was so silly...haha i'm really someone who can stand up rather fast huh =p

kan kai le..ri zi jiu hui hao guo yi dian..you shi hou, tai zhi zhuo ye wei bi shi yi jian hao shi..

no matter what, those are still wonderful memories that would not have been possible w/o you..so i ought to be thankful for that =) and those are memories which i will never fgt, becoz they form up a part of me and make me who i am tdy..

frens..ya? ^^

i stupidly tot han rui's bdae celebration was on friday and only got to know tt its supposed to be yest after i'd my make-up and everything >.< haha since he is the one responsible, he ought to kill time off with me =P sat at ecp aft my work on friday and the breeze is DAMN NICE!! haha think i'm a very beach-person ya..simply love the beach a lot...i can just sit there and seriously do nth for the entire day...soooooo relaxing..and it puts my brain on rest =D had a good chat with hanrui till ard 10.30 then sent me home...

looks like lao tian ye was not on the side with hanrui huh...haha the rain poured quite heavily yest and got heavier in the evening time...haha so bobian had to retreat back to his hse there...then once we all reached there with those food been transported, the rain stopped -.- and guess what??? i tot i went there as a guest huh..in the end i'd to set up the bbq fire for them!!! all the guys are so USELESS pls...enter NS le still duno how to set up fire...one word for them - CUI!! haha damn lousy pls...totally despise them...=p so i had to set up the fire wearing heels and skirt >.< luckily the skirt got shorts inside de..then those guys just all gather ard and eye power, not like their eye power helped in any way...so my both pitiful hands were black and my face was somewhat in a miserable state as well..and those guys dun even know how to fan the fire!!!!!! tian ah...you mei you gen cui yi dian de???? haha bt the auntie was nice enough to bring down a pail of water for me to wash my hands larhx..hehe in fact, the auntie treated me very well..apparently i was one of the few who got to eat the crab tt uncle went to catch at ubin; i was personally being served food by auntie and she kindly helped me take tissue paper to clean my face; i was being given the cake with kiwi (haha there arent much fruits on the cake anw) and i seem to be able to click with her huh..haha jasmine guo ran shi you lao ren yuan! =D

most of them left aft the cake cutting, so left with those chung cheng gang nia lor..oh oh!! i got to know this girl called yi bin (nt sure if i've gotten her name right), gf of shan rui...omg she's such a sweeeeeet gal!!! coz i was kinda choked by the smoke a few times and she was so sweet to help me fan off those smoke..fed me satay while i was setting up the fire..although it was our first time interacting with each other, but she was sooo friendly and approachable that we became like sisters almost instantly larhx..haha we share food like no one's biz and just so on the same frequency...wah tell u ah shan rui, if you ever dare to mistreat her, you're so gonna die man...=p but i doubt so la huh, haha the two of them look very sweet and super compatible...blessings from me ya!! =D errr i shall not mention abt those embarrassing stuff la huh..haha if anyone wants to know can go ask phy..XD

met mrs lee and 8 other clsmates for lunch at hk cafe tdy...apparently i was the 'first' though i was alr late -.-ll alan acty came first bt he saw no one inside so walked away..haha i was daring enuff to walk in!! =p so everyone was practically late, with phy being the champion reaching at ard 1plus >.<>.< haha bt she came dwn anw and we had a very nice long chat with her...got to know a lot more abt her in fact, and please look after your health more ya mrs lee!!! we want you to be super healthy so that we can have a gathering every year as long as 20-30 years ya!!

finally applied for uni just now...hope i'd made the right choice and i will nt regret..haha jasmine never regrets...and i shall not make any exceptions to that =D

i think the normal rxn for all kids when u burst their balloons will be to cry right?? similarly, someone burst this balloon of mine....

i wonder whether was it a right decision to ask that qns..yes becoz i wun be kept in the dark anymore..no becoz i'm badly hurt as a result...

totally cldnt slp last night..was tearing all the way till dawn and i 'woke up' with a pair of puffy eyes...even had to lie to my mom tt i kept rubbing my eyes tts why they're so swollen...=x chose to wear a full black outfit with a black bag...black from head to toe..its gonna be a dark day for jasmine...

its really a torture to force myself to appear happy when i'm not...damn xin ku...finally got off daddy's van and can resume back to my normal self..went to the office and pauline told me to zi ji kan zhe ban coz i'll ve to source empty tables from those who're on leave..and apparently, no one from the brokers team seem to be on leave tdy..so i ended up doing my work at a pathetic corner, using calculator from my hp...>.< farina smiled brightly to me when i walked past but all tt i could manage was a bitter smile..i so wanna get out of my office and ku ge gou somewhere else..but i cant...

finally hang in there till 6.15pm and went off with farina...she'd been asking me why i look so sad all day long and i told her wad happened..thx farina for listening to me...although it wasnt the full story...

took train to pasir ris and walked all the way to pasir ris beach with my 2-inch high court shoes...i was just walking aimlessly down the path which i duno where it'll lead me to...was totally zone out to the extent that i only felt the pain in my feet aft i sat down by the beach..the sea breeze is cold...bt my heart is even colder...no longer bleeding, coz there's no more blood to bleed le...cried...penned down my feelings....emo....then aimlessly walked back home again...din eat anything tdy...but i dun feel the hunger at all...in fact, i feel like puking out wadever that is inside my stomach (= gastric juice??)

wondering wads happening to jasmine lian, the supposed iron lady and damn strong gal?? she'd been thrown down into a deep deep well which she cant climb up at all...they're still tgt afterall and i'd once again, became a third party...is this the pay i had to pay for rejecting the other guys? i'd been foolishly waiting for months, for nothing....

sacrificed a lot...but yet, i'm nt sure if those sacrifices are worth it or not...my bio grade is one of the biggest sacrifice...

to think that i was still waiting for ur appearance during vday...when u were in fact holding on to another person at that point of time....to think tt i specially dress up to work on that saturday, thinking that u might pop up at my workplace with a rose...i'd been dreaming for too long.......

if they hadnt told me, i wouldnt have suspected...and from the way u talked on the phone, i'd more or less guessed it...i wonder, how long do u intend to keep me in the dark if i hadnt taken the initiative to ask...

wu nian de gan qing...bu shi shuo fang jiu neng fang de...gai wo yi dian shi jian shi ying mei you ni de ri zi...

wo de xin si le...zai ye gan jue bu dao tong le...yong zhe ke bing leng de xin, huo de xia qu ma?

dang yi ge ren gan dao lei le, ta hui hen xiang ting xia lai, huo xu yong yuan dou bu hui xiang zai zou xia qu le...

helo ppl...missed me??? XD

yea had been quite busy recently...workload increased with my pay staying the same...well like wad phy said..its for the exp and not really for the money..

went for CG outing on last sat and managed to catch up with my classmates!! all of them matured so much!! like sudd got the chg in the aura wor..apparently it seems like i'm earning the most out of all..err 1.8k per mth seems quite a lot for our status acty...BUT tt is on the basis tt i work practically everyday ok! haha so no complaints!! and seriously ziqi and alan, pls go find a job with better pay and better learning environment..>.<
(p.s. i'll upload those photos taken on sunday k? haha i know a lot of ppl want to hantum me alr =x)

tues was mama's bdae so the whole family went out to din tai feng for a feast...hehe of coz the one who pays will be the one who earns the most (aka my bro) =p

had been learning a lot more things this week at work...think my brain cells die faster when i'm working than when i was studying...seems like its true when many say its easier to learn as much as possible when one is young...coz the absorption rate drops as you age..got 2 more new colleagues with us since tues..err well, no offence, but i seriously have the feeling of watching suria everyday during lunch time..>.< like totally kenna octrasized pls..

duno if its just me..but i just find it real fascinating to see ppl falling aslp in front of the computer after lunch...i just simply dun get it you know, how on earth can one fall aslp when he/she is doing work?!?!?! i mean there is sth urgent on ur hand and yet u still can fall aslp?? maybe the theory abt blood rushing frm the brain to the stomach to digest the food stands..but it pretty much shows how disciplined and how responsible that person is i guess..i really dun get it when my colleagues walk to me at times to say that they need coffee coz they're falling aslp soon...-.-lll

it seems like i have to do sth to THIS thing..if not its not going anywhere and it'll just keeps dragging...the kids will be the ones who will suffer...