went back to hta to help out for quiz comp today...gosh haven been there for 2 years? and tdy i turned out to be the oldest CI there >.< for once, i'm a laojiao...=x

erm to be very frank, the performance of the brand new CIs werent very pleasing...ok perhaps i'm no one to judge them..but the way they behave in public and how they hold themselves as a CI is rather disappointing..imagine if you see a group of CIs in public wearing the CI crest-tee spouting vulgarities,using crude words...wad will you think of them? or rather, wad will u think about NPCC as a whole? perhaps the most common ans will be that the NPCC standard is going down the drain becoz we have such CIs...started to wonder wad acty went wrong in cibtc...mmmmmmm

well who says tt cadets nowadays are getting worse?? i find my first 2 shifts de cadets totally adorable pls..its a matter of how you communicate with them and how far are you willing to reach out to them..it was the first time i got into contact with them, but the conversation was simply wonderful..esp when i'd only interacted with them for less than 30mins to be exact and yet they can be all smiles when they bid goodbye, with thanks coming one after another...now i do believe that it takes 2 hands to clap..

one of the cadets was really cute...she acty asked me if i'd polished my own boots -.-' haha so i asked her who else but myself..then the next qns was how did i manage to make it shine lidat, wad did i use to polish my boots...haha come to think of it now, my ans was really quite idiotic..."kiwi and water lo" =x but its the truth!!! then i went ard the classroom to take a look at their boots, quite saddening if you know wad i mean...poor cadets with no instructors/seniors to teach them how to polish their boots...come to think of it, have i really put in effort in teaching my cadets how to polish their boots when all we know is to demand to see a pair of shiny boots by the next activity..things that might seem to be common sense/logic/knowledge at our time may not be that case now..so qns is, have we been doing the right things?

everything ended at ard close to 2..went to lot 1 with michelle, lianyu and others for lunch..haha surprisingly, we met MJ at the foodcourt upstairs..haha he haven changed a bit (ok except for the botak head =p) still as boyboy-ish as the last time i saw him..well maybe i haven changed after so long as well =/ went for a movie '9' at 4 with the same group of ppl...haha here's the interesting part:
9 ppl went to watch the movie '9' at the price of $9 per tic
wads more interesting is 6 out of 9 started dozing off and falling aslp half-way thru the movie (or maybe lesser than half-way =x) apparently only me, wanling and FI stamford (is this the correct spelling?? mmmm..) stayed awake thruout, but quite sad for stamford sir la huh...wanling and i totally enjoyed the movie, the other 6 who dozed off did manage to catch some main pts abt the movie at the end..BUT the poor stamford sir who stayed awake thruout totally catch no ball XD
but oh wells, it was all fun and laughters...seriously haven had such a good time for a damn long time...

not recognised...not appreciated...tts how jasmine's always been treated...
xi guan jiu hao...

zao gao...my immune system is getting lousy..fever, sorethroat, flu, gastric all looking up for me...tiann ahhhhhhh..and the stupid gastric had been giving me a lot of problem recently..

omg jasmine lian is so so stupid...she'd done nothing bt stupid things for the past 18 years..wad a waste of life...

y did i rush out of home in the midst of studying? y did i ran around looking for that shop? why did i cross the road like it has no cars? why did i sit down there for half-an-hour in the breeze and ended up sneezing non-stop right now? why did i choose to walk away and hide in my hermit shell?!?!?! damn..

u wanted to know why i'd turned up there?

i tot u'd be upset...i tot u needed a shoulder or a pair of listening ears...i tot u needed warmth...

i guess i was wrong...

i tot i'd learnt smart...i tot i'd let go...i tot i'd no more tears left...

i guess i was wrong for the 2nd time...

bu shi sheng qi...bu shi shi wang...shi xin tong...

ok its all over...be it right or wrong, its all over...(ok AAR excluded)

nt gonna blog abt the comp itself..bt just some thoughts after the comp..

just some questions over here...not directed to anyone bt just some food for thought.

if something goes wrong, will you:
(a) flare and get the person in-charge of it to settle the problem
(b) get it done yourself and let the person-in-charge know about it after that

if something goes wrong, will you:
(a) brood over it
(b) make the best out of it

if you'd alr trying the best to put in effort,will you:
(a) recognise the effort put in
(b) harp on the mistakes

duno..its just all random thoughts that had been running thru my mind for the past few days...

its the first time i felt so tired...its the first time i felt tt my heart stopped and died...guess there's no turning back...

yes...5 more days..and its all over..

i just cant wait for that day to arrive...bt at the same time...i hope that this 5 days can be slightly longer...ironic rite?

5th sep will be the day of freedom...to be frank its becoming a form of burden to me...so i cant wait to let it off my shoulder...coz i cannot afford to risk my studies...take note, its CANNOT AFFORD ($186 000)

Not to say readings or pre-readings...i din even have time for my tutorials...so wad cant be worse than that?

ya perhaps i need a lect on time management, temper management etc...my fiery temper is worsening for goodness know why...i get irritated more easily and often feels turned off =x the reluctance to do work is the worst...tian ahhh

i so feel like i'm a pao tui...nvm if you dun get it...

jasmine can hardly feel her brain functioning..her heart beating...and her eyes opened..she needs to re-charge battery...

ru guo lei le..ni hai hui xuan ze zou xia qu ma?

yin wei yan juan, suo yi xiang fang qi..
que yin wei bu gan xin, suo yi jue ding ji xu zou xia qu..

zhe yang zuo..shi dui de ma?

yep uni life had started...here comes a new phase of my life..

its a total different lvl of education when u reach university. no one will never nag at you again. no one bothers if you fall asleep during lectures (well unless if you have a super good buddy who doesnt fall asleep along with you =x) no one cares if you turn up for ur lectures or tutorials. at the end of the day, you reap what you sow. that is the only thing that matters.

its high time to be independent, disciplined yet motivated. its time to learn self-control and priortisation. its time to grow.

there's a lot of things to keep me occupied. and i mean really occupied. got to keep up with the good habit of pre-reading for every single lecture, start doing tutorials once uploaded. have to try to get more school to participate. got to lead those kids into preparing the competition. got to start making new friends and catch up with the old ones. got to put my heart and soul into all the different areas. anyone has any solution as to how to split jasmine up into different selfs so that i can juggle so many different things at the same time? i used to tell people that everything has got its time, but looks like now i can't really find enough time to settle everything. (PS its only the start of the term, more to come)

when everything comes pouring at you (and you've got no one to share the load with. just be thankful that they dont add on to your load) you will just feel like throwing everything off your shoulders and walk away. of course i know that its definitely not the right attitude, but i just cant help feeling that way ya. maybe i should really just leave some things behind once i've done my part and its time for others to do theirs. maybe i really should...