a clown in disguise...

guess this will be the best phrase to describe me right now...this very moment...

living just to show others the light...when i dun see any at all...

putting up a false front to toughen up myself...but the fact is that i'm super fragile within...

why do i have to act fine, happy, bubbly, cheerful like a clown to make someone's day?

who knows how i am truly feeling beneath the thick coat of fakeness?

i hate this kind of lifestyle...becoming someone whom others will like and want instead of whom i really am...

where are my principles??? since when were they all gone??

perhaps this is the only way to survive in this society...to be whom everyone looks out for..and not whom u THINK u're most comfortable with...

is life just abt SURVIVING?? or SUCCEEDING?? where am i on the map of my destiny? at the starting point or nearing the ending point?? i hope i'm nearing the end...coz i see no light...

dont try to say you understand me...coz all of u never does and never will...

u never know how does it feels like to be Person A in front of your friends; Person B in front of your family; Person C when you're all alone...it seriously sucks..why is it that i'll still have to keep the smile on my face in front of my friends when my parents are quarelling like mad the previous night? why is it that i'll still have to put on a smile to welcome others' troubles/problems when i have tonnes of them unsolved? what are all these for?? is it really a balanced equation whereby the amount of input = amount of output?

jasmine is utterly tired...to the extent that she no longer knows how to express her anger, her frustrations, her saddness, her emotions...she is just like a walking dead corpse which can certainly perform any function when you want her to...she can just smile, talk, joke whenever u want her to bt none of these are genuine...at least...no longer...

will the old jasmine come back? nope she wun be anymore...she's dead and gone forever...the person talking to you right now at this moment, is just an empty shell of jasmine...