i think the normal rxn for all kids when u burst their balloons will be to cry right?? similarly, someone burst this balloon of mine....

i wonder whether was it a right decision to ask that qns..yes becoz i wun be kept in the dark anymore..no becoz i'm badly hurt as a result...

totally cldnt slp last night..was tearing all the way till dawn and i 'woke up' with a pair of puffy eyes...even had to lie to my mom tt i kept rubbing my eyes tts why they're so swollen...=x chose to wear a full black outfit with a black bag...black from head to toe..its gonna be a dark day for jasmine...

its really a torture to force myself to appear happy when i'm not...damn xin ku...finally got off daddy's van and can resume back to my normal self..went to the office and pauline told me to zi ji kan zhe ban coz i'll ve to source empty tables from those who're on leave..and apparently, no one from the brokers team seem to be on leave tdy..so i ended up doing my work at a pathetic corner, using calculator from my hp...>.< farina smiled brightly to me when i walked past but all tt i could manage was a bitter smile..i so wanna get out of my office and ku ge gou somewhere else..but i cant...

finally hang in there till 6.15pm and went off with farina...she'd been asking me why i look so sad all day long and i told her wad happened..thx farina for listening to me...although it wasnt the full story...

took train to pasir ris and walked all the way to pasir ris beach with my 2-inch high court shoes...i was just walking aimlessly down the path which i duno where it'll lead me to...was totally zone out to the extent that i only felt the pain in my feet aft i sat down by the beach..the sea breeze is cold...bt my heart is even colder...no longer bleeding, coz there's no more blood to bleed le...cried...penned down my feelings....emo....then aimlessly walked back home again...din eat anything tdy...but i dun feel the hunger at all...in fact, i feel like puking out wadever that is inside my stomach (= gastric juice??)

wondering wads happening to jasmine lian, the supposed iron lady and damn strong gal?? she'd been thrown down into a deep deep well which she cant climb up at all...they're still tgt afterall and i'd once again, became a third party...is this the pay i had to pay for rejecting the other guys? i'd been foolishly waiting for months, for nothing....

sacrificed a lot...but yet, i'm nt sure if those sacrifices are worth it or not...my bio grade is one of the biggest sacrifice...

to think that i was still waiting for ur appearance during vday...when u were in fact holding on to another person at that point of time....to think tt i specially dress up to work on that saturday, thinking that u might pop up at my workplace with a rose...i'd been dreaming for too long.......

if they hadnt told me, i wouldnt have suspected...and from the way u talked on the phone, i'd more or less guessed it...i wonder, how long do u intend to keep me in the dark if i hadnt taken the initiative to ask...

wu nian de gan qing...bu shi shuo fang jiu neng fang de...gai wo yi dian shi jian shi ying mei you ni de ri zi...

wo de xin si le...zai ye gan jue bu dao tong le...yong zhe ke bing leng de xin, huo de xia qu ma?

dang yi ge ren gan dao lei le, ta hui hen xiang ting xia lai, huo xu yong yuan dou bu hui xiang zai zou xia qu le...