i could feel my heart racing..hope it'll last =)

haloha~~~~ finally back from pulau ubin lo!! =D

a fun-filled trip to camp resilience this time round though it was a pity that we din get to do the actual campfire..=(

major activity on the first day was the HOBTCathon whereby i acty brought my atc grp and hollan (how do u acty spell that?!) the first stn was supposed to be at chek jawa but i brought them all the way out to the jetty area >.< sorry guys!! yea so we walked for around 4+ hours (?) and i was kinda affected by the sight of the ruins when we were trying to walk back to the campsite using the old-school route...it looked as though a war had taken place there and the mud floor was acty cracking..really really horrible and heart-broken..din get to slp well that night coz gotta share the tent with 5 other gals..well though most of us are rather small size, but its a 4-man tent u see..so i was practically been sandwiched in the middle and can hardly turn..but well, i'd rather squeeze with the gals then to let them slp in a tent full of ants larh..

2nd day was the TCP (team challange pyramid) and low ropes/maze etc..TCP was really really fulfilling coz the 5 of us pulled thru together, and i'm truly thankful for the other 4 da gor gor and teresa mdm =D if not for them, i might have just given up..the rock wall was really testing my limit and stretching them beyond wad i can manage..ya considering the fact that i ve short hands and legs...a bit hard to reach out far and grab wad i need la huh >.<>.<) i manage to do most of the obstacles with ease and leaped off for the flying fox w/o much hesitation..=D oh speaking of the flying fox, i suffered a big bruise becoz of it!!! as i was approaching the end, a very smart person (i shall not say who) suddenly tugged at the flying line and i went crashing into the landing structure and my right hip bone was not spared..and tt smart person still ve the cheeks to laugh..darnn..

3rd day was all the water activities: kayaking, WCJ and rafting + campfire..nth much for kayaking (except for the part which they made me stand up on the kayak and rayyan kept splashing sea water into my eyes -.-) WCJ was fine coz its my second jump acty, but the height was quite scary to be frank..just trying to act tough in front of others =x gulped a big mouthful of sea water and felt as though i'd reached my year's salt quota le..rafting was a new experience coz we tried a new structure (making a mental note to ask soon hui the outcome of it) went to prepare campfire after that (gotta multi-task by smacking those irritating mozzies) at no man's land BUT it rained just as we were about to set off for the campfire =( wad a pity! but well, i guess it equiped us with the skills to adapt to sudd changes and to always troubleshoot..thank goodness the 'lampfire' went rather well and everyone enjoyed i guess? but soo ps larhx, to act out the mermaid role, had to be super ba2 (hokkien) >.<

lao tian bu zuo mei la...started raining non-stop and our area-cleaning cant go on properly..if not could have gone home earlier..went to tampines mac for lunch after break camp and reached home at ard 2+...totally shag out but cldnt fall aslp..

learnt a lot of things during atc and a lot of new experiences with a grp of fun-loving team mates..=) though there might be some unhappy times, but i believe that the process of working together is still enjoyable. this camp will certainly be one that i'll rem deep in my heart..

tml still needa go back to HTA for one day nrc, hopefully can hear a good news that i'm anticipating...but at the same time, i shall rem wad i'd always told zy that the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment..tt shld be able to cushion the fall just in case la huh..

kinda having a mixed feeling now..mm shall give myself and him more time to think about some things bahx..no hurry, slow and steady ^^

finally came to the end of the first NRC of HOBTC..

mm it was a brand new experience of coz..but there were still disappointments..oh wells nothing is perfect..

at least one thing worth celebrating for is my score for .38 shooting...highest record 168. acty cld have gotten 170 if they count the shot which landed on the line..generally everyone did well i guess, probably coz of the very good gun...can catch every single first pressure w/o much difficulty..

quite a few things to settle before setting off for ATC..group 1 identity..campfire proposal..pack bag..revise thru campfire songs..try out my gown...gosh i only have a day left to settle all these...hopefully i have enuff time >.<

alrights..shall go back to my grp identity..

fine fine fine..why do u always have to assume that i know??

and for goodness sake! i am NOT your boxing bag..dun u dare vent ur anger/frustration or wadever it is on me..

ok perfect end to my wonderful day...pissed

went for shopping tdy with mom and aunt in the morning at tamp..then zy came over to find me and went over to bugis to shop instead..found a very nice dress (but its 70+++ sia...so exp >.<) but bu she de mai...so settled for a 30+ de instead...bought a $63 long-sleeve shirt for daddy, $17 shawl and $13 munchies for mommy, $22 on booties, $20 on trackpants...mm yup and the bedsheet (yaya i know i kept mixing it up with mattress so stop luffing the 2 of u -.-) went home with 2 big BHG plastic bags and one of it has a lot more small small plastic bags...perfect shopping spree tdy (ya if i ignore certain things that might totally ruin my day)

gonna be another outing tml with ws, phy and hy...but i think hy cant make it =( wanted to pass her the long-belated bday present (hehe i'm finally done with it =D) ohoh and i got the gals christ presents frm candy empire when i had 'lunch' with other peeps yest at changi airport terminal 3...

course is gonna start next week, so better enjoy myself to the fullest this week..

'Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.'
'Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt'
"Because of you, I tried my hardest just to forget everything'
'Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in'

my favourite part of the favourite song..how true..

mug like i've never mugged...who was the idiot who told me uni is so much slacker than JC, and that As will be the last exam that i'll have to mug so hard for? pile of nonsense..

1102 is a goner..mcqs kill and clueless when it comes to structured..ec1301 aint much better since i'm more used to writing econs essays rather than choosing 1 out of 5 (perfect, totally lower my chance of getting right frm 25% to only 20%)..cm1417 and lsm 1101 ahead...hopefully 1417 wun be a disappointment and 1101 is well done enuff to pull up the grades...

life wld probably be easier w/o the concern of 3.5...but well, it was the path i chose and i shall walk down it bravely..

i foresee my schedule to be fully packed after exams..poof! there goes my dec hols..and will be busy preparing for the wedding..nono not mine, but my bro's...dun even dare to think when it'll be my turn...

right..lets update the schedule a little..
1st dec (after paper): so gonna leave the day for myself to have a peaceful and quiet time at the beach
2nd dec: shopping with zy (and maybe mom), shop for wedding gift, beach road army market maybe?
3rd dec: family gathering with shan, xiao gua and xiao xiao gua
4th: some quality time for myself before going for wedding, supper after that perhaps
5th: outing with chiaz, jes and jabez; probably another outing with ncos
6th: better prepare my stuff for the course
7-21st: HOBTC, and maybe the trying out of gown on the 13th
22nd onwards: still a lot of uncertainties, perhaps have to kick start the preparation for bro's wedding, RSVP and stuff

busy busy busy...really gotta find some time for myself and some of my frens whom i might have neglected due to the hectic life (apologies frens! >.<)

watched twilight recently...erm some of the vampies inside doesnt really live up to my impression of them...suppose to be gorgeous, 'tasty' and wad not since old vampy will only choose to feed on those good-looking ones, generating a new pretty pretty vampy..(yea selective mating if u want to put it in the population genetics sense) but well it turned out the other way round o.O dun think i'll be watching new moon, saw the trailer as well as part of the movie been uploaded online, erm dun really look appealing esp when ed is seriously ugly with un-toned body and bella's all tt i-totally-give-up-my-life-without-ed-ard attitude..jacob's no much better either =x

almost 7 years, but certainly not going (if u get wad i mean, since ppl always say e.g 7 years and going) Perhaps its really time to put a stop to it. Presence shall not be taken for granted of, and no such thing as appearing anymore. Maybe I should start leading a life that I'd really wanted, no longer revolving around you guys. Appreciation and recognition was all that I'd needed, but none was given. There's no point, and I shan't waste my time anymore 'cause I don't really have that many 7 years to give. Soon I'll be 20 (if you just look at the year and ignore the month) and ought to be responsible for myself. Stop wasting time on things that will never happen, or on people who will never understand. Gonna move on...after 2009...I promise.

went to watch 2012 today with shiyun after the phys test..its totally wow and superb..great catch and must watch!

real hectic life recently...finally ended 1 proj last fri, 1 term paper this tues, a test on wed and today...and next sat marks the start of my final exams! gosh time doesnt fly in uni...it rockets >.<

anw back to 2012..we watched it at plaza sing, tot it was chao hua suan coz today is the last day for student price ($6.50) with complementary popcorn..(in the end vivo had a much better deal -.-) although i'm still trying to figure out the phys portion at the start of the movie (sth to do with the sun that sudd erupts rapidly thus emitting some photon/proton thingy, then resulting in crust displacement and pole reversal etc) but overall the movie was great with wonderful graphics and nice storyline..it balances out the nice and evil sides of mankind throughout the movie and no doubt it was a movie tt sets ur adrenaline gushing..haha shiyun and i were constantly in the jing3 ji2 zhuang4 tai4 and the moment our water taps unleashed, there's no way to stop it =x the guys to my right were luffing away and according to shiyun, the 2 aunties beside werent crying either...makes me wonder why the 2 of us were sobbing away =/ ( even when no one was able to die...the simple scene of water gushing in or ground breaking apart can trigger our tears..tts how good the graphics is)
there's quite a lot of jing1 dian3 scenes in the movie..some that makes u luff, some tt makes u curse and swear while some simply makes u cry..

this is really a movie worth watching..but for ladies, pls do rem to bring a packet of tissue paper along..=p

hectic week ahead...gonna start camping in bedok library le =s

just a few questions:

1. Excuses or reasons? Is it just something to make you feel less guilty...or just something to help you escape from the reality...ask ur conscience...
2. Ready or not ready?
3. Much effort or no effort? it isnt about wonderful performance..its about the amt of effort shown to bring out ur own best potential...
4. Remorseful or cant be bothered?
5. Reflection or hatred?
men xin zi wen...

wad have we done wrong? i'm really totally clueless...absolutely...the framework? the attitude? the techniques? the communication? or are we simply lost in the youngsters' world? seems like we really cant take things for granted; what seems to be li suo dang ran in the past may not be so nowadays..are we answerable for such phenomenon?

are we not needed and redundant? will it be better off w/o us? if tts the case i'll be more than happy to leave...

angry? no....disappointed? no...its gek xim...it is heartbreaking to know that things are not turning out in the way that u'd been expecting...and its heartbreaking to see that things are not reciprocal...when others misunderstood ur good will for something else and repays u with hatred, utter displeasure and wad not...

enuff said...enuff mentioned...if some ppl simply prefer to indulge in self-denial, be my guest...i probably cant be bothered with it anymore...

pissed off to the max...i cant imagine someone just took my lab report, change my name to his and submit the report as his!!!! basket...

the guy who took my report was acty my first lab partner...din thought of him as such a person acty...but wad he did really disgust me...totally..

he claimed that he had no time to do his report (EXCUSES!!!) so he asked his female lab mate for her copy..duno wad went wrong in the process the lab mate ended up giving him mine report..so he happily deleted the names at the last page and insert his, print and submit to the TA my report...let me repeat...MY REPORT....

we were so shocked when we saw the exact same lab report lying in front of us yest when our reports were given back to us..at first i was still wondering how come jinghan submitted 2 copies of our report in different fonts (one in calibri and one in arial) until i flipped to the last page and saw that one of them has the name of tt guy...totally stunned and shocked...no words could come out of my mouth at that point of time..

and our very smart TA happily marked both copied without realising that they were the same and gave the exact same comments...how 'smart' right...so we went to ask her what went wrong in between and apparently she seem to be shocked on her side as well..wonderfulll reaction -.- she appeared to be slightly pissed and claimed that she'll ask him about it...but i seriously doubt her words (how to believe in someone who gives back the first 3 lab reports when the test is over and its the last pract??!?!)

couldnt bear the curiousity and rage, so i sms him just now to ask about things....zero guilt and totally dun see the fault in him...perfect...
'anyways it is not graded'
'anything serious happened?'
'haha...wat happened?'
omg u totally pluck my report and submit it under ur name and u dun see any fault in it?!?!!?! wake up your idea pls.

pissed to the max...let me emphasise....PISSED!

jasmine is finally 19years old..

haha as compared to the one last year, this year's bdae is slightly more peaceful and low-profile...at least dun ve the super big heart-shape with unglam photos of me on it hor hor hor laogong =p

so yup..a super cute bear frm jenna and PJ..erm a ms happy soft huggy thingy frm my aunt...and a treat to dinner + surprise cake frm HK..haha bigbig thank you to all these ppl and not forgeting those who sent their well wishes =)

well its rather special this year coz my chinese and english bdae acty falls on the same day..so haha those who believes in 4-D can go buy 1230 ya =p

aloha~

the entire recess week zoomed past just lidat..haix nothing constructive to my studies >.<

went for HO induction yest and had a crazy day at sentosa...=p

erm yup happened to have 2 rather hyper snrs in my team with 3 other freshies..erm started losing frm the first game so not really a very good sign la huh...only managed to win one of the games when all of us sacrificed by storing sea water in our mouths >.<
yup so the consequence of being the 4th but not the last team, was to be provide the other 3 teams with the PRIVILEGE to bury us under the sand up till the NECK...so yaaaaa kena buried lor...
haha but all in all, its FUN!! really got to know a lot of ppl and forge new frenships...so i guess hobtc shld be quite enjoyable ba with so many frens =)

went back to hta to help out for quiz comp today...gosh haven been there for 2 years? and tdy i turned out to be the oldest CI there >.< for once, i'm a laojiao...=x

erm to be very frank, the performance of the brand new CIs werent very pleasing...ok perhaps i'm no one to judge them..but the way they behave in public and how they hold themselves as a CI is rather disappointing..imagine if you see a group of CIs in public wearing the CI crest-tee spouting vulgarities,using crude words...wad will you think of them? or rather, wad will u think about NPCC as a whole? perhaps the most common ans will be that the NPCC standard is going down the drain becoz we have such CIs...started to wonder wad acty went wrong in cibtc...mmmmmmm

well who says tt cadets nowadays are getting worse?? i find my first 2 shifts de cadets totally adorable pls..its a matter of how you communicate with them and how far are you willing to reach out to them..it was the first time i got into contact with them, but the conversation was simply wonderful..esp when i'd only interacted with them for less than 30mins to be exact and yet they can be all smiles when they bid goodbye, with thanks coming one after another...now i do believe that it takes 2 hands to clap..

one of the cadets was really cute...she acty asked me if i'd polished my own boots -.-' haha so i asked her who else but myself..then the next qns was how did i manage to make it shine lidat, wad did i use to polish my boots...haha come to think of it now, my ans was really quite idiotic..."kiwi and water lo" =x but its the truth!!! then i went ard the classroom to take a look at their boots, quite saddening if you know wad i mean...poor cadets with no instructors/seniors to teach them how to polish their boots...come to think of it, have i really put in effort in teaching my cadets how to polish their boots when all we know is to demand to see a pair of shiny boots by the next activity..things that might seem to be common sense/logic/knowledge at our time may not be that case now..so qns is, have we been doing the right things?

everything ended at ard close to 2..went to lot 1 with michelle, lianyu and others for lunch..haha surprisingly, we met MJ at the foodcourt upstairs..haha he haven changed a bit (ok except for the botak head =p) still as boyboy-ish as the last time i saw him..well maybe i haven changed after so long as well =/ went for a movie '9' at 4 with the same group of ppl...haha here's the interesting part:
9 ppl went to watch the movie '9' at the price of $9 per tic
wads more interesting is 6 out of 9 started dozing off and falling aslp half-way thru the movie (or maybe lesser than half-way =x) apparently only me, wanling and FI stamford (is this the correct spelling?? mmmm..) stayed awake thruout, but quite sad for stamford sir la huh...wanling and i totally enjoyed the movie, the other 6 who dozed off did manage to catch some main pts abt the movie at the end..BUT the poor stamford sir who stayed awake thruout totally catch no ball XD
but oh wells, it was all fun and laughters...seriously haven had such a good time for a damn long time...

not recognised...not appreciated...tts how jasmine's always been treated...
xi guan jiu hao...

zao gao...my immune system is getting lousy..fever, sorethroat, flu, gastric all looking up for me...tiann ahhhhhhh..and the stupid gastric had been giving me a lot of problem recently..

omg jasmine lian is so so stupid...she'd done nothing bt stupid things for the past 18 years..wad a waste of life...

y did i rush out of home in the midst of studying? y did i ran around looking for that shop? why did i cross the road like it has no cars? why did i sit down there for half-an-hour in the breeze and ended up sneezing non-stop right now? why did i choose to walk away and hide in my hermit shell?!?!?! damn..

u wanted to know why i'd turned up there?

i tot u'd be upset...i tot u needed a shoulder or a pair of listening ears...i tot u needed warmth...

i guess i was wrong...

i tot i'd learnt smart...i tot i'd let go...i tot i'd no more tears left...

i guess i was wrong for the 2nd time...

bu shi sheng qi...bu shi shi wang...shi xin tong...

ok its all over...be it right or wrong, its all over...(ok AAR excluded)

nt gonna blog abt the comp itself..bt just some thoughts after the comp..

just some questions over here...not directed to anyone bt just some food for thought.

if something goes wrong, will you:
(a) flare and get the person in-charge of it to settle the problem
(b) get it done yourself and let the person-in-charge know about it after that

if something goes wrong, will you:
(a) brood over it
(b) make the best out of it

if you'd alr trying the best to put in effort,will you:
(a) recognise the effort put in
(b) harp on the mistakes

duno..its just all random thoughts that had been running thru my mind for the past few days...

its the first time i felt so tired...its the first time i felt tt my heart stopped and died...guess there's no turning back...

yes...5 more days..and its all over..

i just cant wait for that day to arrive...bt at the same time...i hope that this 5 days can be slightly longer...ironic rite?

5th sep will be the day of freedom...to be frank its becoming a form of burden to me...so i cant wait to let it off my shoulder...coz i cannot afford to risk my studies...take note, its CANNOT AFFORD ($186 000)

Not to say readings or pre-readings...i din even have time for my tutorials...so wad cant be worse than that?

ya perhaps i need a lect on time management, temper management etc...my fiery temper is worsening for goodness know why...i get irritated more easily and often feels turned off =x the reluctance to do work is the worst...tian ahhh

i so feel like i'm a pao tui...nvm if you dun get it...

jasmine can hardly feel her brain functioning..her heart beating...and her eyes opened..she needs to re-charge battery...

ru guo lei le..ni hai hui xuan ze zou xia qu ma?

yin wei yan juan, suo yi xiang fang qi..
que yin wei bu gan xin, suo yi jue ding ji xu zou xia qu..

zhe yang zuo..shi dui de ma?

yep uni life had started...here comes a new phase of my life..

its a total different lvl of education when u reach university. no one will never nag at you again. no one bothers if you fall asleep during lectures (well unless if you have a super good buddy who doesnt fall asleep along with you =x) no one cares if you turn up for ur lectures or tutorials. at the end of the day, you reap what you sow. that is the only thing that matters.

its high time to be independent, disciplined yet motivated. its time to learn self-control and priortisation. its time to grow.

there's a lot of things to keep me occupied. and i mean really occupied. got to keep up with the good habit of pre-reading for every single lecture, start doing tutorials once uploaded. have to try to get more school to participate. got to lead those kids into preparing the competition. got to start making new friends and catch up with the old ones. got to put my heart and soul into all the different areas. anyone has any solution as to how to split jasmine up into different selfs so that i can juggle so many different things at the same time? i used to tell people that everything has got its time, but looks like now i can't really find enough time to settle everything. (PS its only the start of the term, more to come)

when everything comes pouring at you (and you've got no one to share the load with. just be thankful that they dont add on to your load) you will just feel like throwing everything off your shoulders and walk away. of course i know that its definitely not the right attitude, but i just cant help feeling that way ya. maybe i should really just leave some things behind once i've done my part and its time for others to do theirs. maybe i really should...

how will u feel when u're been scolded for things that u've not done?? or scolded for little things that doesnt seem to be impt? to be totally ignored after that?

i'm starting to wonder if its a mistake to not stay in the hostel..maybe my worries were for nothing...my initial thought of them being bored when i'm nt around is apparently wrong...perhaps they'll lead a better life w/o having me around ya..at least no one for them to kan bu shun ya...

why isit tt ppl only rem the bad and not the good...why isit tt ppl always like to fan jiu zhang instead of looking at the present...why isit tt ppl always dun learn to appreciate the good in u...

wo dao di na li bi bu shang na?!?!?! l1r5 9pts not enuff?? 3As not enuff? scholarship not enuff???? bang ni zuo jia wu hai bu gou ma?? then wad isit tt u want??? try looking for a daughter who is willing to iron 3-hrs of clothes for u..try looking for a daughter who is willing to go out with u for shopping for the entire day when she's having high fever and a bad cold..

ok i'm just ranting over here...damn pissed and gek xim..

zhong yu xue hui ru he fang xia

went to sentosa with kurt on tues..really had a great time!! had a little pinic so all of us brought food and drinks along..oh man my jiu liang bian cha le..only 1/3 cup of vodka and my face turned red..>.< ok la it was a 40% vodka..haha so nt tt lousy afterall..
mm we started on frisbee after lunch, but of coz, with an ultimate motive behind it..wahaha we kept 'drifting' towards the sea in name of 'spreading out', ya hoping to get shan closer and closer to the waters so tt the guys can throw her in...sry shan!! =p so yea they did drag her into the sea in the end..i chose to guai guai walk in on my own (haha better than been thrown in right) and managed to drag a few 'dry ones' in and join us..=D
i stupidly suggested the buoyancy test when none of us have any floatation device >.< ya so in the end i was kinda being pressed down into the water and had a leg cramp...hehe clinged on kaixin and she ended up with leg cramp too! =p
finally got out of the sea and played beach volley..oh man, most of my nice shots were accompanied by 'ouches'..damn pain!! =x bt it was kinda bad coz none of us seem to be pros except for 3 other guys..wahahaa the game was totally going no where esp when i'm paired up with poh!! omg the 2 of us are totally on different frequency..its either he was too slow in telling me tt he's passing the ball to me, or i'm too slow in sensing/predicting his intended action..but well, all in all it was fun still! =)
went to 'wash up' aftertt and back to the game of daidee!! haha had my worst defeat tt day..only managed to throw out 2 cards..the pathetic 2 cards nia..oh man..i wonder if sx is really tt good in daidee or isit tt he has got super good luck...mmm..
went home at ard 6+ and only realised tt i'd turned into a steamed lobster >.< my entire back was RED..tian ah..and i can feel the latent heat trying to escape..

zhang da le..ye jian jian liao jie le hen duo shi..qiang chai de gua bu tian..qiang qiu lai de shi ye bu hui wan mei..
zhong ke yi da sheng shuo "wo zhong yu fang xia le!" sui ran bu rong yi, su rang hua le hen duo shi jian, dan shi wo zhong yu zuo dao le..zhe cai fa xian dao yao fang xia yi ge ren qi shi bing bu nan..que xu yao hen da de yong qi qu mian dui, qu shi ying...

xin li bu zai you ge ta..jiu rang ta zan shi kong zhe ba..bu ji yu tian man ta, shi ying wei wo hai xu yao yi dian shi jian, chong shi xing xin..

hmm friday was my last day in AIA le..chao ji she bu de..but no worries, i'll go back often and lunch with u guys yea =D

mm vivi and i treated the whole brokers team, chris, linas and zhantu to kfc lunch on wed since the 2 of us were leaving..erm but it kinda turned out to be a disaster..>.< evil ="p)">.< but well all was worth it when i saw their smiles and expressions on friday morning aft i'd distributed to them..(some even thought i bought those cookies XD)

i felt so touched tt day larh..i mean i din expect them to be so close to me and to even give me presents on my last day..in the end, surprises came after one another and i seriously love them so much..i shall go back and look for them for lunch more often!!!

maybe tt statement is true..one will only know the importance of something when he/she loses it..well i'd been thinking of leaving the company when i felt tt my work starts to get routine..bt hey, now that i'm leaving, i really cant bear to leave everything behind just like that..there are ppl whom i enjoy being tgt with..there are ppl whom i can really talk to..there are ppl who will tease me and totally brighten up my day..there are ppl who don't leave memories for me, bt to create memories with me...

the wonderful ppl in the brokers' team who had walked with me for the past 6 months, thank you for all the guidance and patience..

to pauline - thank you for getting me into the brokers' team and taught me everything starting from the basics..u're ever so forgiving to my mistakes and blur acts >.<

to huiling - thank you for your patience!!!! haha i know i'm nt a good student certainly (esp when i first started off with ghs) =p but u'd never scolded me or raise ur voice..not even once...and apparently quite a number of documents went missing from the files for no apparent reasons, i'd never seen any reproachful expression on ur face..

to jenny - thanks for those small talks and help tt u'd offered to me throughout the 6mths (though u tot i'd only worked for 2mths >.<)

to chin chong - haha doctor evil!! thx for all the white chips cookies frm subway ya!! apologies for those mistakes committed when i was doing those cisco claims..haha they must have flooded ur mailbox and exploded ur phone ba =x

to steffie - haha initially i tot u're a super fierce lady when u first taught me how to handle leggmason and manpower cases...haha bt then i slowly realised tt u're acty quite a fun and interesting person!! at least u're the fastest person among all my frens to have ur entire face red XD no offense ya...=)

to vivi - hey nurse!! haha must entertain the doctor evil when i'm nt ard k? n rem to feed him 'medicine' frm 2pm-5pm =p now tt i'm gone..no one will be there for u to tease and laugh at le wor..must self-entertain when u're feeling slpy ya! haha always rem the stupid actions which i'd taught you (rem the hands and legs coordination!!)

to gladys - no one to do coding for u in future le ya..haha so must get neater le!! if nt more docs will be gone missing =x must let me know when the baby is born k? haha best if is on the same date as my bdae =D

to stella - for the last time..i'm jasmine LIAN not jasmine LOW..haha next time no one to be cheeky with u le when vivi is gone as well..u'll miss me rite??? =p and no one for u to push the blame to when ur PC gets laggy or when the printer doesnt wants to print ur docs XD

to paul - haha mr gentleman..i eat cup noodles during lunch not solely coz i wanna save money, bt i'm seriously tired of thinking of wad to buy mahx...thx for being so patient when u were teaching me mercer stuff ya...so sry tt i din really live up to ur expectations though for nt being able to master mercer >.<

i'll certainly miss u guyss....

some updates for the past few days..

went out with my dearest kurt members for dinner last friday..mm went to clarke quay manhattan fish market..its not the full strength though, all turned up except for yuru, diana and shaoxun. jem and liz left earlier too. but it was a rather fun session catching up with one another, not forgetting those dagger eyes staring at us (we occupied 10seats at the dinner peak hour =x) yea poh shen was so stress settling the bill while the rest of us abandoned him and ran out of the restaurant XD

some suggested to go mind's cafe but we ended up walking to merlion park. haha now then i realised how near my workplace is to clark quay. mm walked along those pubs, dun really like it due to the crazy ppl and smoky air...haha bad air pollution. =x took lots of photos along the way, will upload it when i have the time next week ya >.<

finally landed our butts at esplanade and had a great talk..planned our next outing as well (coming tues, 11am harbourfront mrt ppl!) we were so engrossed in the talk till we totally fgt abt time. adjourned at ard 11..till then guys!

mm i'd decided to end work by this week...well since i'll be gone on mon, tues and fri nxt week..then might as well right?? mm..it wasnt an easy decision to make though..after been tgt with those wonderful colleagues for half a year..its really kinda hard to bid farewell..hopefully i wun burst in tears on my last day >.<

The Wonderful Journey of 13 Kurt-ers

Yeah I'm back from OBS!! Alright, am not very happy about it though. 4 days zoom past just like that!! But I guess its all the fun we had that counts.

Went to OBS on Tues, thinking that I only know a few people and I'm gonna be the lonely soul floating around. At the same time, I was rather stereotypic as I actually have a mental image of people whom I'm gonna spend time with. You know, typical scholars. =x

Met Brian in the morning and went down to Punggol Jetty together. Was so grateful that I wasn't the only one who does not have the OBS form. Went into the OBS knowing a few people already, kinda glad for it. There were some dilly-dally here and there, so we sat under the Sun till the Insts finally got our groupings done in the most traditional way at ard 10am.

Started off with key-punch and the Zoom game which werent strangers to me at all (considering that i conduct these games to my cadets back in school -.-) went on with high ropes in the afternoon. All of us were busy packing our bag-packs at night, for the land expedition the next day. Gosh, I din know that 13 people can finish so much food!! and my bag is rather heavy coz of the pot and cans.

So we set off the next morning after learning all the basic stuff about orienteering. My group Inst literally asked me to shut up cause I was answering most of the questions he asked =x Yep so I lead the team along with Pei Yee and Yuting to the forbidden grounds of OBS and eventually out of it before we switch leaders. We went to a place whereby our Inst named it as the Shopping Centre, probably becoz there were many kinds of fruits grown there. Oh but before that, we actually went to another place and had our 'detour' thats why Brian's team waited for so long XD Pei Yee, Yuru, Shan and I were talking to the auntie who owns the 'shopping centre' during lunch time. She is such a brave woman, living on that big piece of land all along with only 2 dogs. Being an urban-liver, I really can't imagine how the auntie actually stayed there for decades with no form of entertainment other than her dogs. Really admire her..

We set off to puaka hill after that and I lead them up the hill to the top storey. The view was fabulous man, especially when the Sun shines down on the quarry and the water literally GLITTERS. It was so tempting for me to jump down into it at that point of time. Almost everyone was awed by the view and couldn't bear to go down. We soon left the hill and proceed to our camp-over ground which was the Jelutong Campsite. Haha not something alien to me too. So we went there, settled down, had some briefing and 'lights out'. Don't know why but I just cant seem to fall asleep before my sentry duty at 12.40am. Perhaps it was too stuffy in the tent bah. Went out for sentry duty till 1.15am when other team members took over, and went back to sleep. It was better this time round, got to sleep a little but woke up countless of times as well.

Third day was the sea expedition. Didn't volunteer myself this time round, was hoping to give others a chance as well as to not 'bring shit' to the entire cohort. Just to refresh you guys memories, the previous 2 times when I was the Sea-ex leader, it stormed for that 2 times. Yea so was wondering if I'm the suay one or what. Our macho man, Poh Shen, 'volunteer after much reluctance' to be the leader along with other 4 from different watches. We did a round of morning blessing before we set off. Apparently, 67 BLESSINGS couldnt fight with that ONE Blessing from our Inst. 'Cause whatever that he wished for (bad weather, low-tide swamp and storm) all came true and all ours couldnt win his. Yep so we had to waddle through the muddy swamp and brave the chompy sea + fierce storm. I have to say that this adds a new episode to my life. I mean how many people will actually get a chance to push your tri-yak through the swamp (over 100m??) with both your legs stuck in the knee-deep mud and entirely body covered with grey mud?? all 67 of us looked the same when we got out of the swamp, coz we all have the same colour >.< so after the swamp we finally embark on our return journey to OBS. well, I did sense the change in weather the moment we exit from the swamp but I din want to scare anyone, especially those who'd not tried kayaking before. So just as what I'd predicted, the storm came not long after we left the river and it was a fierce one. all of us had to retreat back to the river, while those who din make it in time had to seek shelter at a nearby shore. We set off again when the weather turned better, but I was so PISSED with the guy in front of me!! wah seriously a big slacker who knows nuts about kayaking yet complain so much about others. I bet Jeysthur would agree with me, boths hands and legs up!! Seriously no shame on sia!! I mean if the person sitting behide you is not someone whom u're very familiar with, will you lean backwards and comfortably lie down on tt person?!?!?!?! It was so irritating that I purposely knocked him with the shaft when i paddle, and splashed sea water on him. And he din just do it once, that was really bad. So being the only person who knows kayaking better, I had to force out every single bit of energy and transport the 3 of us back. Grrrr, irritated.

Went back, did some cleaning up, dinner, short debrief and went off to bed. next day was mainly on area cleaning, lots of sharing and the leap of faith (which i failed >.<) before we break camp.

frankly speaking, I'm really grateful for this group inst of ours - LJ!!! he's really the nicest one I've ever seen. no inst packs the store with the watch, but he did. No inst will be able to get so close to us, to the extent of patting our heads, but he did. No inst had inspired me that much, or trigger so much thoughts in me, but he did. This is the first OBS which made me teared during the last round of sharing. This is the first OBS which gave me the most wonderful memories of all - not because of the things we do, but because of the people who went through it with me throughout this 4D3N. Everything is all worthwhile. Though there were countless mozzie bites, cuts, lacerations and blue-blacks all over me, but I'll never regret going for this beautiful camp with the other 12team mates and 1 Instructor who forms up the perfect Kurt..

The Roll of Honour: (in no order of merit)
Instructor of Kurt - LJ
Members of Kurt
- Kaixin
- Diana
- Pei Yee
- Yuting
- Yuru
- Jemima
- Wei Shan
- Elizabeth
- Poh Shen
- Shao Xun
- Din
- Jeysthur
- ME

*A round of applause to all these wonderful people who helped build up the beautiful memories of the camp. It wouldn't have been possible without any one of you guys. A big big thank you! ^^

lightning with the big warm sun

even wonder how it feels like to be struck by lightning when u were acty enjoying the nice warmth from the sun?? its horrendous...

tt was practically how i'd started my day, my week...my 'wonderful' Monday...enuff said..

i wonder if it was accidental or delibrate...i really have no idea..

how exactly am i supposed to feel??

tt pulled me back to reality...

tt thing isnt mine to start with afterall....

its time to let go before everyone gets hurt...

i know i know..all these sentences may not make sense to you guys...bt its just a series of thoughts tt came to me throughout the day...doesnt matter if u can understand..its abstract..

maybe its time to move on...

hi all...its been a long time...

was really busy with np stuff recently...first was the atc camp which went rather well i'd say (though there were some sudden changes to some plans)...was quite impressed with the vs cadets in fact...shant elaborate much...
next was the lmsc course...i realised being complacent when one is doing certain thing for the 2nd time, is a common mistake for most ppl..well at the very least i feel tt i'm guilty of tt...=x 2nd time giving the teamwork lect bt i dun really feel tt there was any improvement as compared to the last one...oh wells..but i was really being an angel to my grp's cadets (nt that any of the insts were being devilish)
the last was the CLTC camp...taxing but fulfilling for me...though i wldnt say tt i'd manage to mould anyone into a leader..bt i must say tt i'd gotten to know some of them better...well, i believe they can do much better than wad they're doing now...its nt really abt me setting a standard for them to achieve, but more of tt i can see the potential in them to work tgt in reacher greater heights...haha so much said, bt at the end of the day its still up to them to seek their own path...

haven been able to sit down and have my own personal time till the last wed..was thinking thru a lot of things and taking stock of my life....
maybe its time for me to move on...wads the pt of harping on sth tt isnt possible rite? zhi zhuo le zhe me jiu, huo xu shi shi hou gai fang shou le..maybe it'll be better for everyone...just let me dwell in it till i start my uni life....till then.....

Went out with jiamin last wednesday to make up for her birthday on tues...haha late huh jiamin..need to chg ur habit le wor =p anw we met at PS and dinner was on me at cafe cartel..mmm we had a long chat i guess, coz the waiter kept refilling our cups =x went to walk walk ard PS and promised to bring jm out to far east one day during june to get her shoes she wants...=)

Received the notification letter frm moe wrt to the scholarship le..still, not much 'joy' frm my family..well who cares.....

this weekend will be burnt by ATC, next weekend by LMSC and the following one by CLTC...haha wow busy busy busy~

supposed to meet tt hanrui for dinner or wadsoever tonight de..haha bt i guess he's too busy keeping himself by HER side so totally fgt abt me lo =p haha its ok da ren bu ji XIAO REN guo yaaaa....XD

dear farina is leaving office this fri le...sadded...no more lunch mate and someone to ka-jiao when i'm on my way to the toilet >.<

tts tt..

scholar...so what?

i was informed this morning that i'd been awarded the moe teaching scholarship..farina was the first to know of it..followed by my bro and parents..

he merely said congrats...thats how unfeeling my bro can get..

my parents cant sms..so i din expect them to reply/call..

when i got on my parents' car after work..no interest was placed on my moe scholarship...my mom simply harped on the qns why din i manage to get thru the spf scholarship despite trying twice....is that supposed to be the main topic??? i dun understand...

no one in my family spoke another word abt the scholarship...ZERO....wad was tt supposed to mean?

my parents wanted me to follow my bro's footsteps into becoming a teacher..of coz personally i do have the interest and passion..bt this is wad they want isnt it?

they'd always been telling me how great my bro is..in pulling thru Os, As and uni w/o having them to worry much..i tried so hard and i did surpass..although Os was the same performance, bt i certainly did much better in As and i clinched a SCHOLARSHIP with my own capability!!! why cant they just PRAISE ME?!?!? does it kill to say well done?? or just a simple smile of approval???

i didnt know tt wad i'd been working on, is acty so insignificant and meaningless in their eyes...how disgusting can this reality get??

i worked so hard...not just the process...bt in the end..i'm still not happyyyy......

A Trip to Pulau Ubin!!! =)

Hi all!! Tt was a long weekend wor...haha phy and i went to pulau ubin on good friday all becoz of my sudden urge..=p shall let the photos do the job ya!

Haha this is how scary the queue at changi jetty was...went to ubin so many times, this is the first time i see such a crowd sia!!phy and i on the bum-boat..haha the 2 of us are like 'sua-gu' lidat...freaking excited though its not our first time to ubin...yep the amt of ppl roamin at ubin is scary too!! this time rd the mosquitoes can have their full meals...(slurp!)haha the 'bua-gia-si' phy is super exposephy and i at the entrance of PULAU UBIN!!! =Dtaken at the sensory trail..make a guess wad is this tree??This is the fruits of the tree...any idea???TA-DA!! haha the ans is Lipstick Tree~~~~ok..now try guessing wad tree is this....have you got it?? haha its the coffee tree!!!haha this is rather obvious la huh..jackfruit tree...this was taken before we went into the trail..this place acty used to be a small bakery shop opened by a family (fgt frm germany or england le =x)....haha throughout the entire trip..there were a lot of times whereby i zoom-in to take photos of sceneries bt fgt to zoom-out when taking photos of ourselves..which resulted in such BIG-FACED photos =pthis is the quarry which we saw when we were on our way to the german girl shrine

haha the 2 of us in front of tt quarry...ok i decided tt the ranger hat made me too ugly...XDthat was how bad the flood was.....haha and of coz..not to fgt, phy's beautiful legs =Pthis is the german girl's shrine which is located all the way at the west of pulau ubin..mm long history behind it..there is acty a write-up available at that place itself..mm the shrine looks quite well-maintained larhx..so nxt time when u go to ubin can go explore this place ya! =Dafter we came out frm the german girl's shrine, we just went up this rocky slope, thinking that it'll lead us to some main path....bt it turned out to be.....THE BIKE PARK!!! haha the 2 of us were struggling to cycle up those super steep slopes larhx..and phy looked so pissed when she cant chiong up the slope to the extent that a cyclist even stopped to ask her if she was alright =p

we tried to go as high as we can larhx..and we were awarded with this beautiful scenery...really really wonderful...pls dun mistaken this as a quarry ya...those who'd tried kayaking around pulau ubin shld know tt this is acty the sea le la huh..=pthat was with the sea as our background...and tt was how much we were left to the top of the park..Yep..so we only knew tt was the bike park when we exit from the entrance >.oh tts the entrace to the puaka hill (which means huanted hill in malay)...err bt we din really manage to reach the top larhx..apparently it seems like its been very long ever since someone walked tt trail le..coz we can only reach the 1st floor...the path leading to the 2nd floor is super dense larhx..so we didn't want to risk it..well..we were intending to head to chek jawa after puaka hill de..bt apparently lau tian ye bu zuo mei la..started raining..nono maybe pouring will be a better word..so we had no choice bt to head back to the jetty lor...wahaha phy and i even joked abt it, saying that its a good opportunity to train our leadering and critical thinking =Pyep so the 2 of us end up like luo tang ji la huh..quite pathetic...haha the wet phy....XDeven the cat seeked shelter with us =D (under my bike somemore..)haha and the wet JASMINE!! XDooo uncle in action!! the place where we were at was almost flooded..so the uncle was kind enuff to clear away the water..bt one thing i din really understand wad y did he sweep all the leaves and litter down to the drain???? maybe tts the reason for the flood huh...=/oh everyone was seeking shelter..haha so quite a few of them acty went into the seafood restaurant area...we left pulau ubin after the rain got smaller...haix bt still bu gan xin ya...din even get to go to chek yawa at all...that was how scary the weather at ubin's side was...

haha see the contrast in the weather at ubin and at spore??

this was taken at the jetty once we reached singapore...haha the 2 luo tang jis...=p

yupz i shall upload photos to here ba....gt time then carry on...

now i finally know wads the feeling of 'gek xim' (hokkien)

a lot had been happening recently..undesirable of coz..

hu leng hu re shi ni de zhuan chang ba?

zai bie ren bei hou shuo xian hua hen you qu ma?

zhe zhong zui ming, rang wo jie shou bu lai..

bu shuang jiu zhi jie shuo, gan ma yao an jian shang ren?

yao wo zhen me zuo, ni men cai hui man yi?

maybe i shld learn how to be smarter and protect myself...sometimes, walking out of the comfort zone may not necessarily be the right choice...

i realised...only when i'm at my workplace, can i truly be myself...that is a place whereby i'm highly encouraged to voice out my opinions and make changes to things to improve efficiency..its a place whereby i can be in control of things and make decisions...its a place whereby i'd seen the best teamwork ever w/o having to bring anyone down...its a place whereby every single effort is been recognised, no matter how trival it may seem to be...its a place where i can be myself...where i can be confident and raise my head up high...where i can feel a pat on my shoulder, telling me that i'd done a great job...where all these things cant be found at another place, a place that i'd been in for years.....

well..maybe i'd changed unknowingly due to the environment...but i mean, everyone grows up and everyone changes am i right? and whether one had changed for the better or for worse, it isn't really fair for others to judge, becoz wad matter most is to be urself and u can proudly lift up ur head to say that u're living ur life to the fullest...

ji ran zuo bu liao ban lvi, na jiu zuo peng you ba! =) bu guo you yi ye shi xu yao shuang fang lai wei chi de..

think a lot for the past few days, and as usual, found tt whatever that i'd done was so silly...haha i'm really someone who can stand up rather fast huh =p

kan kai le..ri zi jiu hui hao guo yi dian..you shi hou, tai zhi zhuo ye wei bi shi yi jian hao shi..

no matter what, those are still wonderful memories that would not have been possible w/o you..so i ought to be thankful for that =) and those are memories which i will never fgt, becoz they form up a part of me and make me who i am tdy..

frens..ya? ^^

i stupidly tot han rui's bdae celebration was on friday and only got to know tt its supposed to be yest after i'd my make-up and everything >.< haha since he is the one responsible, he ought to kill time off with me =P sat at ecp aft my work on friday and the breeze is DAMN NICE!! haha think i'm a very beach-person ya..simply love the beach a lot...i can just sit there and seriously do nth for the entire day...soooooo relaxing..and it puts my brain on rest =D had a good chat with hanrui till ard 10.30 then sent me home...

looks like lao tian ye was not on the side with hanrui huh...haha the rain poured quite heavily yest and got heavier in the evening time...haha so bobian had to retreat back to his hse there...then once we all reached there with those food been transported, the rain stopped -.- and guess what??? i tot i went there as a guest huh..in the end i'd to set up the bbq fire for them!!! all the guys are so USELESS pls...enter NS le still duno how to set up fire...one word for them - CUI!! haha damn lousy pls...totally despise them...=p so i had to set up the fire wearing heels and skirt >.< luckily the skirt got shorts inside de..then those guys just all gather ard and eye power, not like their eye power helped in any way...so my both pitiful hands were black and my face was somewhat in a miserable state as well..and those guys dun even know how to fan the fire!!!!!! tian ah...you mei you gen cui yi dian de???? haha bt the auntie was nice enough to bring down a pail of water for me to wash my hands larhx..hehe in fact, the auntie treated me very well..apparently i was one of the few who got to eat the crab tt uncle went to catch at ubin; i was personally being served food by auntie and she kindly helped me take tissue paper to clean my face; i was being given the cake with kiwi (haha there arent much fruits on the cake anw) and i seem to be able to click with her huh..haha jasmine guo ran shi you lao ren yuan! =D

most of them left aft the cake cutting, so left with those chung cheng gang nia lor..oh oh!! i got to know this girl called yi bin (nt sure if i've gotten her name right), gf of shan rui...omg she's such a sweeeeeet gal!!! coz i was kinda choked by the smoke a few times and she was so sweet to help me fan off those smoke..fed me satay while i was setting up the fire..although it was our first time interacting with each other, but she was sooo friendly and approachable that we became like sisters almost instantly larhx..haha we share food like no one's biz and just so on the same frequency...wah tell u ah shan rui, if you ever dare to mistreat her, you're so gonna die man...=p but i doubt so la huh, haha the two of them look very sweet and super compatible...blessings from me ya!! =D errr i shall not mention abt those embarrassing stuff la huh..haha if anyone wants to know can go ask phy..XD

met mrs lee and 8 other clsmates for lunch at hk cafe tdy...apparently i was the 'first' though i was alr late -.-ll alan acty came first bt he saw no one inside so walked away..haha i was daring enuff to walk in!! =p so everyone was practically late, with phy being the champion reaching at ard 1plus >.<>.< haha bt she came dwn anw and we had a very nice long chat with her...got to know a lot more abt her in fact, and please look after your health more ya mrs lee!!! we want you to be super healthy so that we can have a gathering every year as long as 20-30 years ya!!

finally applied for uni just now...hope i'd made the right choice and i will nt regret..haha jasmine never regrets...and i shall not make any exceptions to that =D

i think the normal rxn for all kids when u burst their balloons will be to cry right?? similarly, someone burst this balloon of mine....

i wonder whether was it a right decision to ask that qns..yes becoz i wun be kept in the dark anymore..no becoz i'm badly hurt as a result...

totally cldnt slp last night..was tearing all the way till dawn and i 'woke up' with a pair of puffy eyes...even had to lie to my mom tt i kept rubbing my eyes tts why they're so swollen...=x chose to wear a full black outfit with a black bag...black from head to toe..its gonna be a dark day for jasmine...

its really a torture to force myself to appear happy when i'm not...damn xin ku...finally got off daddy's van and can resume back to my normal self..went to the office and pauline told me to zi ji kan zhe ban coz i'll ve to source empty tables from those who're on leave..and apparently, no one from the brokers team seem to be on leave tdy..so i ended up doing my work at a pathetic corner, using calculator from my hp...>.< farina smiled brightly to me when i walked past but all tt i could manage was a bitter smile..i so wanna get out of my office and ku ge gou somewhere else..but i cant...

finally hang in there till 6.15pm and went off with farina...she'd been asking me why i look so sad all day long and i told her wad happened..thx farina for listening to me...although it wasnt the full story...

took train to pasir ris and walked all the way to pasir ris beach with my 2-inch high court shoes...i was just walking aimlessly down the path which i duno where it'll lead me to...was totally zone out to the extent that i only felt the pain in my feet aft i sat down by the beach..the sea breeze is cold...bt my heart is even colder...no longer bleeding, coz there's no more blood to bleed le...cried...penned down my feelings....emo....then aimlessly walked back home again...din eat anything tdy...but i dun feel the hunger at all...in fact, i feel like puking out wadever that is inside my stomach (= gastric juice??)

wondering wads happening to jasmine lian, the supposed iron lady and damn strong gal?? she'd been thrown down into a deep deep well which she cant climb up at all...they're still tgt afterall and i'd once again, became a third party...is this the pay i had to pay for rejecting the other guys? i'd been foolishly waiting for months, for nothing....

sacrificed a lot...but yet, i'm nt sure if those sacrifices are worth it or not...my bio grade is one of the biggest sacrifice...

to think that i was still waiting for ur appearance during vday...when u were in fact holding on to another person at that point of time....to think tt i specially dress up to work on that saturday, thinking that u might pop up at my workplace with a rose...i'd been dreaming for too long.......

if they hadnt told me, i wouldnt have suspected...and from the way u talked on the phone, i'd more or less guessed it...i wonder, how long do u intend to keep me in the dark if i hadnt taken the initiative to ask...

wu nian de gan qing...bu shi shuo fang jiu neng fang de...gai wo yi dian shi jian shi ying mei you ni de ri zi...

wo de xin si le...zai ye gan jue bu dao tong le...yong zhe ke bing leng de xin, huo de xia qu ma?

dang yi ge ren gan dao lei le, ta hui hen xiang ting xia lai, huo xu yong yuan dou bu hui xiang zai zou xia qu le...

helo ppl...missed me??? XD

yea had been quite busy recently...workload increased with my pay staying the same...well like wad phy said..its for the exp and not really for the money..

went for CG outing on last sat and managed to catch up with my classmates!! all of them matured so much!! like sudd got the chg in the aura wor..apparently it seems like i'm earning the most out of all..err 1.8k per mth seems quite a lot for our status acty...BUT tt is on the basis tt i work practically everyday ok! haha so no complaints!! and seriously ziqi and alan, pls go find a job with better pay and better learning environment..>.<
(p.s. i'll upload those photos taken on sunday k? haha i know a lot of ppl want to hantum me alr =x)

tues was mama's bdae so the whole family went out to din tai feng for a feast...hehe of coz the one who pays will be the one who earns the most (aka my bro) =p

had been learning a lot more things this week at work...think my brain cells die faster when i'm working than when i was studying...seems like its true when many say its easier to learn as much as possible when one is young...coz the absorption rate drops as you age..got 2 more new colleagues with us since tues..err well, no offence, but i seriously have the feeling of watching suria everyday during lunch time..>.< like totally kenna octrasized pls..

duno if its just me..but i just find it real fascinating to see ppl falling aslp in front of the computer after lunch...i just simply dun get it you know, how on earth can one fall aslp when he/she is doing work?!?!?! i mean there is sth urgent on ur hand and yet u still can fall aslp?? maybe the theory abt blood rushing frm the brain to the stomach to digest the food stands..but it pretty much shows how disciplined and how responsible that person is i guess..i really dun get it when my colleagues walk to me at times to say that they need coffee coz they're falling aslp soon...-.-lll

it seems like i have to do sth to THIS thing..if not its not going anywhere and it'll just keeps dragging...the kids will be the ones who will suffer...

100th POST!!!! =D

haha this is the most long lasting blog i've ever had...hehe =P

tired tired tired..jasmine is slogging her lungs out everyday..err putting it in a nicer way, i'm learning a lot of new things which others wun ve the chance to...putting it in a nastier way, i'm being forced to learn things much faster than the rest, doing more things but being paid the same salary...mmm well glad tt my superiors acty think quite highly of me and they're all really nice to me..haha despite my continuous disturbance (coz i'll pop up by their desks when i have qns =x), they are all still very patient and friendly with me..=D

how come i sense tt some ppl are trying to exploit me??? mmmm....

alrights shall slp early..tml still need to work and handle 11 kids...ganbatte jasmine!!!

"aiyo~~~ so gentle and sweet~~~~"

wahahaha tt was wad my superior said when she overheard me addressing another colleague..coz was trying to pass a stack of settled claims to a colleague who was keying in some data, wasnt very sure if i shld interrupt her so said her name very very softly..

apparently my colleagues were rather surprised when they knew i'm single..haha do i look like i'm attached??? lolx

looks like i'm building more and more good rapport with my colleagues at work and they are all very nice to me!! =D hehex hen nan rang ren tao yan wo ba~ =P all those aunties will super zhao gu me, then will always chase me off for lunch at 11.45 sharp and chase me home at 6pm...thank goodness got them sia..they make my work life so much more interesting!! ^^

jasmine is getting used to this kinda lifestyle..her life is only gonna get better starting from now!!! =D

yo ppl~

thx for all the concern my frens..i'm perfectly fine now ok! haha in case if some of you duno, i'm a super strong gal!! haha one day/night is all i need to stand up again..my mama always says, na de qi jiu yao fang de xia..so since i'd decided to picked it up some time ago, i must have the courage to put it down...plus i'd alr xiang tong le, i might get to meet better guys during uni yea? yupx so why shld i restrict myself to just one choice right? ying gai gei zi yi ji hui, ye gei bie ren yi hui..=)

i tot it was rather silly for me to commit the same mistake as wad i did 5 years ago...haha silly jasmine..if its impossible 5 years ago but suddenly possible now, sth is very wrong isnt it? but no matter wad, there were lots of wonderful memories as well...so really really thank you for creating those fabulous memories..=)

ren zhang da le...ye xue hui kan kai le...dui yu sheng huo li de dian dian di di, bing bu shi yang yang dou yao na me zhi zhuo...huo xu song yi song shou, kuan yi kuan xin, ni jiu hui jue de huo ran kai lang...

more things are coming up on my way, waiting for me to settle....jasmine will continue to learn and mature...she is getting used to the corporate world and she will soon become an iron lady...

yuan lai yi ge ren de shi jie ye ke yi na me jing cai ^^

its V day today and here i am, procrastinating...

just some updates..i'd found a job under AIA as a data entry clerk in the group insurance claim team..but i'm definitely learning more than just pure data entry..prospects look good over there..started work last tues and i'd worked 2 OTs in just my first week of work..bo bian larhx i'll feel very uncomfortable if i dun complete my work (though i'm nt obliged to)..those seniors are really nice to me..super patient in teaching me the new stuff and offered to show us ard, plus tips on how to get a seat in the super crowded CBD area during lunch...guess i'm quite satisfied with this job, can gain a lot of experience and my resume will look damn good..

my colleagues were all saying tt i'm an iron lady..haha work 5 days + 2 OTs not enough, still working as part-time teacher on sat for the whole day, plus private tuition on sunday..practically no time to rest..haha weeshan even asked me if i really so que qian nots...well, its not on the point as to whether am i in need of cash..but more of preparing to pay for my uni fees la huh..

went to get some roses frm kh in the morning..wrapped those roses at my workplace since i was super early..and gave them to my colleagues..haha all of them were damn happy to receive the rose larhx..nice to see their smiles..

sometimes, life is just filled with ironies...the one who seem to have a few butterflies around him/her may be the very person who will be the loneliest during V day...jasmine is one such good e.g....she pathetically spent her entire day facing kids, when her energy bar is alr flashing red light..think tdy is the day of her 19years of life with the most number of disappointments...the feeling of being hopeful to being totally hopeless, is like climbing a high high mountain and when you finally reaches the top to enjoy the view, you slip and fall and die..yea tts the exact feeling...

i kept having a lot of hopes tdy..see la kh, u made me believe too much in tt person le larhx..made me have so many mental images..i was hoping the whole day, just to see tt person..in the morning, hoping to see him at the void deck..hoping to see him somewhere during lunch break..i looked out everywhere for his presence...and finally when my last class ended at 6, i was so so hopeful when i was able to step out of the room, only to be filled with disappointment once again..there wasnt even a single msg, not to say appearance...reluctantly dragged my feet to the bus-stop and went home for dinner...held back my tears for countless times on the bus and felt like being pressed down by tonnes of things...i had my hopes up again when i was walking towards my hse..but then again.....despite all these, still had to qiang yan huan xiao, must pretend as if i had a wonderful day tdy at work in front of my parents...how perfect can it get...

i'd waited...i'd taken steps...if you hadnt realise, i was the one initiating frm time to time..and if you hadn't realise, i'm a lady who needs love and care too....not the strong-headed jasmine tt you see when others are ard...

sometimes i just wish for a shoulder...a place where i can rely on and cry for all i want...do u know how bad it feels to hold back tears?

maybe its just a one-sided thing...again...like wad had happened 5 years ago..maybe i shld just give up...there are some things, which arent worth holding on..you xie shi, bu shi shuo xiang liu, jiu neng liu xia lai de...fang shou, ye xu hui bi jiao hao guo...dui ni, dui wo, huo xu dou shi bi jiao shi he de xuan ze...win-win situation? this is it..

do u know how painful it feels to be floating around alone on the street, when couples are holding hands ALL AROUND YOU?

perhaps i'd been reading too much into things...those things that seem to be trival to you, are in fact significant to me...if those shared memories are not been treasured by you, then it is pointless for me to hold on to it as well...if u dun ve tt meaning, dun do those things...becoz u'll end up hurting those ard you...just like how much u'd hurt me...

jasmine will wise up frm tml onwards...but for now, just let her dwell on her own procrastinations..just let her release all her bottled emotions in the form of tears....

random-ness..

i realised i'd been missing out on a lot of things..too focus on THAT thing alr..mmmm

i'd been neglecting frens...and i really feel sry abt tt..it seems as though i'm drifting away frm a lot of them..bt its alright, i'll row my boat towards each and every one of them starting frm NOW..

jasmine really needs to learn how to multi-task..not in the physical terms..bt in the interpersonal terms..=/

wow i'd been mia-ing for a longggggggggggg time...oh today is the last day of cny aka yuan2 xiao1 jie2 so pls do have a reunion tgt with ur family as much as possible yea.. =)

a rather busy week last week...went back to cchm for TD(G) on wed aftnoon, cleared up some of the documents in the cupboard as well..haha boss said i'll be the future successor of tt cupboard so i'd better do a good job..went thru things abt TD with the kids and had a great time laughing coz of their role-plays...think last wed was the first time i acty laughed during np curriculum...XD took lots of photos and videos but sad to say, the crappiest video turned out to be corrupted..sadded mannn

went to jie's 21st bdae party on sat...argh din manage to complete her prezzie...so sry jie!! i'll give it to you asap yea..=) met up with a number of my ex-ex-ncos and one ex-nco..haha had a nice chat with them, you guys rock man! =D

pass sth to xiao xiao gua yest morning and went off shortly after tt for tuition..went to city hall starbucks to give an english tuition to jac..haha a very nice lady who is super eager to learn...hopefully i can successfully help her improve her eng..=)

okiex tts all the updates for last week...and jasmine lian's status is still unemployed..-.- hopefully can find one soon...>.<

oh this sat is V DAY!!! haha guys and girls out there..if you wanna make any confession, this sat is the best chance!!! hehe those who needs advices/ideas can approach me yea...=p

went to lin lao shi's hse this morning to bai nian..met up with the HM peeps damn happy can..so long nv see them le..=D

talked to kh over the msn just now (and now) then duno why jasmine suddenly became very emo..damn the mood swing (and the flu)...went to listen to Ai Mei by Rainie Yang...its the first time i feel tt the lyrics are so real...so so real...

jasmine will nt carry too much hope..yao bao chi yi ke ping chang xin jiu bu hui tai shi wang..

and she will learn to be strong..nt just in front of others..but oso when she's facing problems alone..she will learn not to cry...but for now, just let her have an avenue................

happy new year ppl!!!

haven update for quite a few days lo..had been busy preparing for new year and doing lots of house-visiting..

this year's cny eve was special coz i was the only one who shou3 shui4..tt piggy brother of mine totally knocked out at 12plus..played 2 rounds of chinese chess online and lost terribly..haha horrible la, made me lose right at the beginning of the year..then played daidee aft tt all the way till 4 plus..then frens went to slp le so i nua-ed online till ard 6..woke everyone in my family up and went to bugis si ma lu to baibai..came home aft tt and started preparing for the dinner..relatives came at ard 5+ 6 and there goes all the monkeys..oh i mean kids =p..run in run out, climb here climb there...i can go be super nanny loooo..went over to my 4th uncle's hse after dinner..played audition for the 2nd time haha and my results arent tt bad..had a gals' talk aft tt till ard 11 then zao home..

helped my brother with the marking of his students' scripts the next day...4 classes of paper sia..then he still have the cheeks to tell me very easy to mark one...easy then cannot ownself mark ahh?? >.<>

went to meet yet another job consultant from recruit express yest...wait for 15 mins and he only talked to me for less than 5 mins -.-lll apparently i was the only one who dressed formally larhx..the rest of the teens there all wear skinny jeans plus t-shirt...how to convince others to find u a job when u dun even know the basic courtesy of an interview sia?? anyway went over to my 1st uncle's hse again for dinner coz there were a lot of fresh ingredients for steamboat left over..so went there to help them clear up the food...waahahaha jasmine is getting pro-er at daidee!!! hehe at least there were more wins last night as compared to the cny eve..

woke up early this morning to go baibai again (at a different location though) then went over to 2nd uncle's/grandparents' hse to bai nian...haha the wind there is sooooo gooddddd tt i fell aslp on the sofa =x...

tml going back chungcheng, sat gotta go teach and sun going linlaoshi's hse plus 3rd uncle's hse..

oh mannnnn i'm soooooooooooooo HAPPY FOR MY 2 SPECIAL FRENS!!! haha jasmine is so so so happy to see tt the 2 of them are finally getting tgt coz i know tt the guy will be a gem to my girlfriend..haha must treasure each other yea?? =D man..tt guy is freaky romantic..to the extent tt i feel like smacking him le..hahaha he was pondering over what to get for tt girl during v day..so i gave him a few suggestions and it all turned out to be 'i gave her before le' -.- totally sian 1/2 pls...haha lidat in future wad can u give sia!!! but its ok i believe the set-up tt i'd described to u last night is sufficient to make her superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr touched...wahahah i wanted to say last night tt we can have another business proposal lo..the 2 of us can go set up a wedding-planning company...haha then we can be those super pro wedding-coordinator...oh man haha everything will be sooo perfect with our ideas!! XD anyway must jiayou ya!!! ALL THE BEST TO U AND HER!!!

haha think i'm really crazy le..i'm acty happier and more excited than tt guy larhx..hahah cant help la..just feel so happy for them..^^

yi qie sui yuan ba..shi wo de jiu shi wo de..bu shi wo de zai zhen me qiang qiu ye mei yong...wo kan kai le..guo yi tian, shi yi tian ba =)

oh i missed out on a point abt yest..haha i saw MR NGOH!!!!! haha he was shopping at the compass point metro yest with his wife too...mm the wife looks quite elegant and classy wor wahahah mr ngoh has got good taste..=p went over to da zhao hu then the first qns that popped out frm his mouth was 'pei nan peng you lai mai yi fu ah?'..if possible, i would have penged immediately right at tt spot..lol had a hard time explaining to him larhx...dang he better dun spread the word or i'm doomed..>.<

tired~~~

damn i just realised tt my hp no given in the resume has mistakes!!! but luckily the one i gave in the email is the right one...>.<

applied for more jobs this morning = send out tons of resumes with the wrong hp number >.<

chiahow asked me out to shop in the afternoon..went to compass point for lunch and walk walk ard to help him look for cny clothes..i ended up shopping for edwin's bdae pressie..hahaha horrible jasmine..anw ch bought a t-shirt which i think was rather nice..haha nxt time pls find ur other 18/07 de gals to go shopping with you ok?? as i'd said, i'm the kind of person who goes shopping with wad i wanna buy in mind alr so usually i dun go walk walk ard de..and i believe they'll ve a better taste than me =p

bought edwin a dark blue tie with some simple design on it..tt tie caught my eyes the moment i saw it..haha machiam yi jian zhong qing la huh..like it coz of the colour and texture..its nt the normal smooth smooth kind..so pretty unique in my eyes at least..errr duno if its branded or not lehx..just feel tt its nice lo..just hope tt the salesgirl who wrapped it up just now remembered to take off the price tag =x

went down to serangoon to pass edwin the pressie just now and we walked to the interchange..haha i learnt new things!!! now i know tt the level of 'formality' is pretty much related to the spectrum of colours..the lighter the colour, the more formal it is and vice versa..haha now i noe black is mainly for entertainment lo...good good so in future i wun make these mistakes when i step into the corporate world..=)

guess i'm gonna be converted to maria again later...need to buy more stuff = maria needs to carry heavy things..tian ahh my hands totally peel until cannot peel le lo..haha this kind of hands dun nid to get married le larhx XD

woo hoo my 90th post~~ haha crazy jasmine..

had a lot of crazy tots recently..the most recent one was tt i suddenly have the urge to get married..XD haha crazy rite?? i started to wonder what kind of guy would i fall for to be my hubby..wad kind of marriage will the 2 of us have..wad kind of wife will i become?? someone who will stay at home and look aft kids, cook dinner, wait for hubby to come home and give him a big big hug??? haha a lot of images flashed thru in my mind..all those sweet sweet and heart-warming images..haha crazy la me..thinking of marriage when i'm nt even attached =P

frankly speaking..given my current pi2 qi4 and character, i dun think any guy will dare to marry me la huh..=P i realised i'm acty very strong-headed..very dominating...very da4 nv3 ren2...yi niao yi ren just dun seem to fit me la huh..not now at the very least..mm perhaps the feng shui master was spot on in saying tt my eyes are grown on the top of my head yea, and i'll have a rather late marriage at ard 30+...

i just realised i'm working on both the eve of the eve of cny and V day..darn..cant really enjoy my hols..haha made a big fuss abt it just now to phy when i realised i'll ve to work on v day..bt then came to realise tt there's nth for me to grumble when i have no date -.-

went to popular just now to get the materials needed to make jiejie's 21st bdae pressie..mm duno whats on her wishlist so guess i'll just fa hui my diy and handicraft skills la huh..hehe hope she'll like the pressie..for now it'll be a secret..shhhhh~~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JERENE DEAR!!! aiya wanted to give her another surprise like what we'd done last year de..bt then she got celebration with her family so bo bian lo..sianed wanted to hide in her hse even before she return frm work de then can pop up in front of her when she returns home..but well my plan kinda fail..=x nvm we'll find one day and go out tgt kk dear!! =D

hai jasmine is getting crazier by the min..who knows wad kind of weird weird thoughts she'll have on her mind later XD

totally maria-fied these few days...>.<

coz daddy sold away the van so now have to run a few trips to buy all the new year stuff back..those things are damn heavy!! haha luckily i'm np-trained..went to buy lots of new year food and those deco stuff..so the entire afternoon yest was spent decorating the hse alone..i din know climbing up the ladder and standing w/o support would be so scary man..jasmine a.k.a maria...

went to grandparents' hse this morning then yet another trip to the bedok supermarket to buy more stuff..and the stupid auntified trolley is getting on my nerves..i'll rather carry those heavy bags of stuff than to use the irritating trolley..came back, arranged those stuff and cooked dinner...

i just realised my posts are getting more and more hsewife-ish sia!! damn damn damn...this is totally horrible...i near to change my life style sia!!! >.<

jasmine is highly irritatable (flammable) these few days..my brother just got me into flames of fiery yest morning..totally piss me off man..took my baking stuff w/o asking me..fgt it if its for his own uses..he took everything, wait let me emphasize - EVERYTHING, in the cupboard and brought it to his gf's hse to bake..W/O ASKING ME! darn..he was banging those drawers early in the morning and woke me up..so i went into the kitchen and saw him gopping the stuff, having the cheeks to sound li3 zhi2 qi4 zhuang4 when i asked him wad he was doing..those ingredients were bought on my own account, and he is bringing all of those for his gf to bake cookies to SELL AND EARN MONEY...cmon tell me how fair this is..TOTALLY PISSED!!! and there wasnt even a single 'sorry' or 'may i?' from him..not a single word..wads worse was my mom acty sided with him and her..damn now who's ur daughter? who was the maria who cared abt the family, who bothered to do all the spring cleaning, who went to supermarkets with you to carry those freaking heavy stuff, who wasted her time decorating the hse which no one freaking cares?!?! SO WAD IF HE IS THE SON?? I AM NOT TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED OF!!

thats it..jasmine is ending this post with a fishing pissed mood..

yea..jasmine is sick..yet again...=/

din get a good slp last night..or maybe i should say this morning..kept tossing and turning..then woke up 7.30 to go for work..

was alr a little feverish these few days..but it kinda became worse after yest night..was feeling damn groggy this morning..how i wish i could have just stay in bed for a little longer..

had a few short dizzy spells today and i felt as though i was burning inside with a cold surface outside..barfed my dinner out just now too..>.<>

haha silly jasmine..stupid jasmine..duno why she cares so much for wad...seriously dumb dumb sia..and here she is typing this stupid post not knowing whether anyone will be reading it not..haha wad an ironic life..jasmine is laughing at herself..