its V day today and here i am, procrastinating...

just some updates..i'd found a job under AIA as a data entry clerk in the group insurance claim team..but i'm definitely learning more than just pure data entry..prospects look good over there..started work last tues and i'd worked 2 OTs in just my first week of work..bo bian larhx i'll feel very uncomfortable if i dun complete my work (though i'm nt obliged to)..those seniors are really nice to me..super patient in teaching me the new stuff and offered to show us ard, plus tips on how to get a seat in the super crowded CBD area during lunch...guess i'm quite satisfied with this job, can gain a lot of experience and my resume will look damn good..

my colleagues were all saying tt i'm an iron lady..haha work 5 days + 2 OTs not enough, still working as part-time teacher on sat for the whole day, plus private tuition on sunday..practically no time to rest..haha weeshan even asked me if i really so que qian nots...well, its not on the point as to whether am i in need of cash..but more of preparing to pay for my uni fees la huh..

went to get some roses frm kh in the morning..wrapped those roses at my workplace since i was super early..and gave them to my colleagues..haha all of them were damn happy to receive the rose larhx..nice to see their smiles..

sometimes, life is just filled with ironies...the one who seem to have a few butterflies around him/her may be the very person who will be the loneliest during V day...jasmine is one such good e.g....she pathetically spent her entire day facing kids, when her energy bar is alr flashing red light..think tdy is the day of her 19years of life with the most number of disappointments...the feeling of being hopeful to being totally hopeless, is like climbing a high high mountain and when you finally reaches the top to enjoy the view, you slip and fall and die..yea tts the exact feeling...

i kept having a lot of hopes tdy..see la kh, u made me believe too much in tt person le larhx..made me have so many mental images..i was hoping the whole day, just to see tt person..in the morning, hoping to see him at the void deck..hoping to see him somewhere during lunch break..i looked out everywhere for his presence...and finally when my last class ended at 6, i was so so hopeful when i was able to step out of the room, only to be filled with disappointment once again..there wasnt even a single msg, not to say appearance...reluctantly dragged my feet to the bus-stop and went home for dinner...held back my tears for countless times on the bus and felt like being pressed down by tonnes of things...i had my hopes up again when i was walking towards my hse..but then again.....despite all these, still had to qiang yan huan xiao, must pretend as if i had a wonderful day tdy at work in front of my parents...how perfect can it get...

i'd waited...i'd taken steps...if you hadnt realise, i was the one initiating frm time to time..and if you hadn't realise, i'm a lady who needs love and care too....not the strong-headed jasmine tt you see when others are ard...

sometimes i just wish for a shoulder...a place where i can rely on and cry for all i want...do u know how bad it feels to hold back tears?

maybe its just a one-sided thing...again...like wad had happened 5 years ago..maybe i shld just give up...there are some things, which arent worth holding on..you xie shi, bu shi shuo xiang liu, jiu neng liu xia lai de...fang shou, ye xu hui bi jiao hao guo...dui ni, dui wo, huo xu dou shi bi jiao shi he de xuan ze...win-win situation? this is it..

do u know how painful it feels to be floating around alone on the street, when couples are holding hands ALL AROUND YOU?

perhaps i'd been reading too much into things...those things that seem to be trival to you, are in fact significant to me...if those shared memories are not been treasured by you, then it is pointless for me to hold on to it as well...if u dun ve tt meaning, dun do those things...becoz u'll end up hurting those ard you...just like how much u'd hurt me...

jasmine will wise up frm tml onwards...but for now, just let her dwell on her own procrastinations..just let her release all her bottled emotions in the form of tears....